The Joys of Asha

Just Pics

2009-09-13T08:07:00.021-05:00

Asha on her 4th birthday. She had an awesome birthday if I do say so myself.!!

I got extensions put in her hair for part of her birthday present and she also got her ears pierced. She loved her "new" hair as she called it!!

Attempted camping once this summer but was so cold and rainy don't even want to attempt it again this year. Did manage to get a fire started in the rain and made smores. lol

Asha at her daycare. They had a lunch on the lawn party for the kids who were moving up to antoher classroom.

This was taken Easter weekend with her "new" hair. She looks so much older with her hair like that but soooo beautiful!!

My girl all dressed up for Easter. Same as her birthday dress but she loved it and wanted to wear it again.

Took her to June Dairy Days again. She really loves all the free ice cream and animals.

I just love this pic it's so cute!! Took her to a zoo a friend told me about. It was pretty nice we had a good time.

This was taken with my cell phone at the zoo. I'm getting pretty good at getting myself in the pics too!! lol

This was Memorial weekend. We went to visit a friend and his family and had a really great weekend. They had an awesome cabin on a river. It was really beautiful.

Still Memorial weekend!! She loved my friend Tim and even convinced him to take her on his boat and to try and catch her a fish.

My work had a picnic and the clown did an amazing job painting Asha's face. I love this pic!! She even put glitter on her nose so it would sparkle like a wet puppies!!

We took a trip up to Duluth, MN a few weeks ago to visit a friend. We had an amazing weekend.

Waterfalls in Duluth. I love waterfalls!!

Looking for agates (rocks) at the beach in Duluth.

My girl stopping to smell the roses at that the rose gardens in Duluth.

This will be all for pics for awhile. Right after our Duluth trip I dropped my camera and broke it. Can't afford a new one for awhile so just using my cell phone which doesn't take the greatest pics.

Bad Blogger

2009-05-30T18:56:00.002-05:00

I am so sorry I am a bad bad blogger. Blame my job and Facebook!! I have been working mandatory overtime at work for 3 weeks and then get a few weeks off and then mandatory again so working 10 hr days doesn't leave alot of time for blogging. All I have time for is a little bit of Facebook and that's about all.

I will try to get a real post up some time soon but I am on mandatory 10 hr days again this week and then we are camping next weekend so I will try to get camping pics up along with some Memorial weekend pics soon.

Again sorry for being a bad blogger life is just crazy!!

1st Time Bowling

2009-03-15T16:45:00.011-05:00

My birthday was last weekend and Asha's dad refused to take her because she had a cold so instead of going out with the girls for my birthday the girls, their kids, me and Asha all went bowling. We had an amazing time. Asha made it through 1 1/2 games and did pretty well.

A couple of times she wanted to do it by herself and the ball took forever to get to the end if it got to the end at all. One time it got stuck right in the middle and we had to have someone come down and get it for us. It was all just too funny and so much fun. I wish we would have thought of bowling at the beginning of winter instead of the end.

Here are some fun pictures of our fun day!!

This is just a fun one at home before we left for the day. We were gone all day with eating out for lunch, bowling and then going out for supper as well. Our friends made sure we had a GREAT day. Here's my girl when we first got to the bowling alley. She was so excited!!

This is how she liked to watch the ball go slowly down the lane. It was so cute!!

Still waiting and watching. Wow that ball sure does go slow.

She thought it was pretty funny when her ball got stuck and someone had to come down and rescue it.

It really was a great day and we had so much fun!!

Here she is helping my friend's daughter bowl. She started doing this after she was too tired to bowl for herself.

This picture just cracks me up. It is my friend helping Asha bowl. I just thought it was too funny to pass up.

If you want a good laugh take your kids bowling. It is great fun!!

Sweetest Girl

2009-03-02T20:47:00.009-06:00

I have got the sweetest most loving girl in the whole wide world. She has such a big heart and she is so full of emotion and love it just amazes me.

We walk in the door to her day care every morning and all the teachers she passes she has to tell them she loves them. Her 2 regular teachers adore her and I think truly do love her. When I had to call them on Thursday morning to let them know that she would not be coming to school because she was sick they were so worried for her and told me to give her big hugs from them.

We walk through the stores and she talks to everyone. She says hi and then will strike up a conversation with anyone who will listen to her babble. I have been trying to instill a little stranger danger into her but it is not working. She knows what a stranger is and she is getting a little better about who she talks to but she is just so loving and so friendly that she just can't understand how people could be mean. When kids at school are mean to her she just does not get it. She comes home asking why certain kids do and say certain things and she just doesn't understand why they would want to be mean. It is sad to hear the way some of these kids act.

It is just not in my girl to be mean to others which makes me a very happy momma that she wants to be nice to everyone I just hope that she doesn't get hurt in the process. She is so nice to all of her friends at school but some just are not nice in return. I thinks she tries even harder to be nice to them which puts her in the way of more meanness. I have told her to stay away from the mean kids but she thinks that they will eventually be nice to her I guess.

Today at the end of the day she walked around the class room and gave all the kids who were left hugs. She could not leave without hugging them. She felt so bad last Wednesday when she left school and had not hugged her friends. Her little heart is so big and so full of love. She makes me so proud.

Here she is with all of her loot from Valentines Day at school. She really made out. We had a ton of candy.

Here she's having a tea party picnic with the bear I got her for Valetine's Day. She loves to have tea parties.

Her cheeks look so pudgy in this picture I love it. I tell her that her cheeks are like soft pillows for my lips. She laughs and then squishes my pudgy cheeks.

Going Good

2009-02-08T08:33:00.011-06:00

It's all going really well here. Been really busy and Asha and I have both been battling colds for a while now. That's the bad part about day care is all the stuff that gets passed around. Luckily Asha has missed most of it and just has this cold that won't go away but I'm thankful it hasn't been croup, pink eye or strep like all the other kids seem to be getting.

My job is going great and it really is my dream job. I have been trying to find a job like this for probably 10 years now and it just kind of fell in my lap. I truly feel blessed to have it and have no intentions of ever leaving.

Asha is doing amazingly well. She has been pretty emotional lately and not wanting mommy to leave her at school but other than that she is doing awesome. She has been bumped up to developmental in gymnastics which means that she is doing more gymnastics things such as bars, balance beams, hand stands, etc....

We are both anxiously waiting for spring/summer so we can get outside and have fun. She is already talking about wanting to have picnics when it gets warmer. We are having fun with the winter yet though. Last weekend I took her ice skating for the very first time this winter and then she did a little sledding on the big snow pile in front of our house. We also do the open gym on Saturdays for her gymnastics and with that you can use any of the equipment for 2 hours so we really have fun doing that when it's too cold to be outside.

I will be signing her up for 4K this week. I can't believe she is going to be 4 next month and old enough to start going to school in the Fall. She's a little worried about it and I'm not sure where I'm going to have her go yet but I'm sure it will all work out.

I am excited for her birthday. I took the day off since her birthday is on a Friday and I have promised to take her to get her ears pierced. I am a little scared but she has been begging since before Christmas so I figured I would take her and hopefully I won't regret it. Not sure if we will have her party on her birthday or on Saturday but I am also going to get her a bike. It will be her first bike and I'm so excited for that. Up until now she has been riding her trike and I really think she will love a regular little bike with training wheeels. I can't wait to see her face when she gets it.

Well here are some new pictures of our fun in the last month or so.

Here she is coloring snow green. I put food color and water in a spray bottle and let her go to town. She loves it. Her new favorite thing is to color ice chunks different colors. It actually looks pretty cool.

This was from open gymn. This thing helps her to learn how to flip backwards and to get her used to the feel of it. She loved this and did it most of the time we were there.

One thing they work with her on in developmental is being able to straighten her arms and hold herself up while working on the bars. That's what she's doing here and she's getting really good at it.

Queen of the mountain. We have a pretty good sized snow pile in front of our house but the center is like a big bowl and she loves to go and play in there. This is the pile she was sledding down but the snow was pretty hard and she couldn't go to far but she had fun anyway.

She decided to go sledding with out the sled.
Here she is skating all by herself. She was so proud of herself and wouldn't let me even try to help her once I let go. She was all laughing and giggling. It was so cute!!

Look at that triumphant little face. She was so proud. Shortly after this picture she did fall on her butt and that was the end of her solo skating. She held on to me and wouldn't let go for nothing. LOL

Christmas 08

2008-12-28T19:16:00.013-06:00

We had a great 2 days as far as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day went. It was so nice have Asha's grandma, papa and Aunt here to celebrate with us. They are my ex inlaws and it was very nice that they agreed to come for Christmas Eve. I still consider them family. They have been my family for 12 years and you can't just shut that off.

Christmas Eve

I had to work half a day so Asha went up by her grandma and papa for the morning. She had to wear her pretty red dress all day. When I was done working we came back home and she talked me into each of us opening one present. I opened the one from her that she made at school and all by herself she picked the present from her birthmom to open. It was a children's bible and she exclaimed "It's just what I've always wanted!!" It was sooo cute!!

When everyone got here we had my famous Manicotti, Garlic Bread, and Steamed veggies for supper. Asha was so excited she could barely eat. She was the only one who got presents so she just went to town one right after another. Took me 2 hours to wrap and about 13 minutes for her to unwrap. She loved everything though.

Christmas Day

We had our traditional home made Waffles with Strawberries and Kool whip for breakfast. A friend of mine that Asha adores came over to have breakfast with us and then stayed and played with us for a while. The rest of the day Asha just played with all her new toys and mommy got to relax a little.

It was a really nice week and all went smoothly.

It's not the best picture but this is from Asha's Christmas program. They were trees and sand Rockin Around the Christmas tree.

Here she is as one of the 6 cows for the 12 Days of Christmas in WI.

Asha decorating cookies for Santa. She insisted on cookies for Santa after seeing the Betty Crocker commercial where the little boy gets mad because his dad eats the cookies for santa.

Here she is in her Christmas dress. I had to put it on her right away Christmas Eve morning and she wore it all day.

Here's me and my girl in front our our beautiful tree on Christmas Eve.

It took me 2 hours to wrap her presents and took her 15 minutes to unwrap them. She loved everything though and was very happy.

Here she is Christmas morning with the Princess phone from Santa.

We had a GREAT Christmas and we hope you all did as well.

Response to Comment & Update

2008-12-17T19:00:00.003-06:00

Min~ It's just true happiness. I have seriously never been this happy in my whole life. I have a great job and AMAZING daughter and I'm making some great friends. I have so much fun and I'm just enjoying life. I spent so many years literally wishing it would all just end because I was so miserable and those thoughts just don't even come up anymore. I find myself smiling for no reason and realize that I'm just happy. It was hard at first when he left but it was so worth it. If I knew that life could be so good without him I would have left years ago.

Asha's Christmas program was amazing. It was the cutest and funniest thing I have ever seen. Her class did Rockin Around the Christmas Tree and they did an amazing job singing and dancing to it. Then the whole daycare/school did the 12 Days of Christmas in WI and the lyrics were hilarious. Everyone was cracking up. Asha was one of the 6 cows and they had deer hunters, Cheese heads, Badgers playing football it was all just really funny. I do have pictures that I have not gotten off of my camera yet but when I do I will post them.

Asha really wants to go to North Carolina. Her birthmom has just moved there so now Asha thinks we need to go visit and see where they live. We got Christmas presents in the mail today from her birthmom and the most beautiful Christmas card with their family picture on it. They are a beautiful little family and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.

Have a great Christmas everyone and I will post the holiday pictures probably on Christmas day.

Mostly Pictures

2008-12-07T18:38:00.012-06:00

Here's my little monkey hanging from her bar. This indoor bar/swing was the best thing we ever bought her. She gets alot of use out of both.

She is still into dresses and not real happy about having to do the layered look with her dresses. As soon as we get home the leggings under her dress come off.

Here she is all dressed up for Thanksgiving. She dressed herself. She had been wanting to wear this black dress forever but it was a hand me down from a friend and it was missing some bows in the front so I never put it on her. I figured since we weren't going anywhere on Thanksgiving that it would be ok for her to wear. She was also wearing her pink plastic dress up heals with the dress. She was very proud of her outfit.

Here she is with her stocking filled with goodies from Saint Nick. She came walking out of her room still sleepy and layed on the couch next to me and it took her about 10 minutes to realize that her stocking was full of stuff. She jumped up so fast and so excited to finally see something in there. She was ready to rip it off the wall if I didn't stop her.

Checking her santa mail. She loves this so much. She wants to check it multiple times a day just to see if he brought anything else.

All ready to go and see Santa at the Kid's and Santa party my work held. She was so excited to see Santa and she kept telling me that she was going to ask him for a Princess phone for Christmas. I already got that for her so she will be very happy with Santa.

The party was alot of fun. She was super excited to see Santa and did not want to wait her turn in line. She got to play games and they fed us a really good lunch that she inhaled.

Here she is with Santa. He was great and he complimented her hat which really made her happy because she wanted to show him her new hat so bad. She got a good size bag of toys/treats when she was done with Santa which made her pretty happy too. She didn't want to leave him though. She kind of stayed on his lap and I had to call to her to get her to come off his lap.

Me and my girl. I keep trying to get a good picture of us together and it's alot harder than it sounds. It takes atleast 15 to 20 tries to get a decent picture of the 2 of us together.

We decorated the tree today and it is the cutest little tree. I don't have alot of room in my living for a tree so I had to get a small one but I love it. Asha pretty much did all the ornaments and I helped. She loves to help and is so proud of herself that she decorated the tree.

My work Christmas party was more fun than I thought it would be. I made some friends who actually work in my building one floor down so that will be nice to see friendly faces that I know now. The band they hired was great and they are local. They are a pretty big hit around here. We stayed until about midnight. My new friends wanted us to go out with them afterwards but I had lots to do today and knew if we went out that I would not be in any shape to decorate or do the Santa party. I did see some of them at the Santa party with their kids and one has a boy Asha's age who loves girls so they will get along great. We will probably get them together sometime to play.

Well my girl is begging me to play ants in the pants with her so I am off.

Thanksgiving & Stuff

2008-12-05T06:20:00.002-06:00

Thanksgiving was pretty hard this year. Asha was crabby and throwing fits all day and I woke up with a migraine. If you ask Asha though it was a good day so that's all that matters. We made hand turkeys for place settings and she loved doing that and we sent one to her birth mom who absolutely loved it.

We decorated the day after Thanksgiving and I couldn't believe how much Asha loved it. I can't wait to do the tree this weekend because she can really help with that. She is in LOVE with her stocking that's hanging over the fireplace. Before I hung it she walked around hugging it and saying "Thank you so much mommy for buying me this soft fuzzy stocking........ can I wear it?!! LOL She cracks me up!!

I do something called Santa mail instead of an advent calendar to count down for Christmas. It's this cute little wooden mailbox with a picture of Santa on it that I bought. Every night Santa brings something and leaves it in the mailbox for her. Well Wed. at school they had Santa there and she was telling him about everything he had brought her so far and was thanking him for it. Poor guy was probably wondering what the heck she was talking about so I asked her what he said. Ho Ho Ho. LOL She is so excited about Santa mail that she tells everyone about it. She can't wait to check it every morning.

Well I am off to work. I finally got trained on some data entry so the weeks have been going alot faster. I can't believe it's Friday already but soooo happy that it is.

On deck for this weekend is my work Christmas party and then a Kids & Santa party at my work where Asha will get to see Santa again and play games. In between all that we have to get a tree and decorate it so I will try to post pictures of all that some time next week.

Have a great weekend!!

The Movie

2008-11-15T07:24:00.002-06:00

Well it wasn't a complete bust but Asha only lasted about an hour. That was pretty good though considering it was only a 90 minute movie.

I took her to see Madagascar 2 and I didn't think it was that great but I never saw the first one either. She is so into animals I figured she would like it but she had more fun prior to the movie watching all the people come in and playing with the folding seats. She kept getting folded into her seat so I had to stuff our jackets into the crack for her to sit on. She looked like a queen sitting on her throne with her bucket of popcorn. I wish I would have had my camera because it was cute.

She talked about it for 2 days and told everyone at school what she did so she must have had fun. I am planning on taking her more this winter so hopefully I will find a movie she wants to sit through. I think she was more excited about the popcorn than anything else. She wouldn't even let me hold it because it was her popcorn. It was all about the popcorn for her. She is just too funny.

I have Parent Teacher Conferences for her this coming week and I'm sure she will be doing great. All the teachers at school love her and now that I am working full time she is going to a friends twice a week to play with her daughter instead of to school/day care and all the teachers hate it. They all tell me it's just not right that 2 days a week she doesn't come running into the classroom and hug them. They miss her and I think that's so sweet. I know I made a good choice when I picked that place.

Well we are off to do some Christmas shopping today. She was supposed to be at her dad's this weekend but he called and said he thought he was getting sick so she is with me. I don't want her getting sick and I can't miss any work if she does. I AM FINALLY GETTING TRAINED AT WORK NEXT WEEK!!! I have been there 3 weeks and still don't know my job so now that I am finally getting trained I can't miss any work. We may actually be working some over time so sending her to his house to get sick would not be an option. We will have fun today though we always do.

Halloween & Updates

2008-11-09T07:43:00.006-06:00

I'm getting a little better about posting. It's not months between each post now. I am trying. LOL

Halloween was so much fun this year. Last year Asha got spooked right away and that was the end of trick or treating but this year she did awesome. There weren't too many scary costumes so that helped plus we knew which houses to stay away from this year that were scaring the kids.

Asha was a clown but a cute clown. I got her costume from a church yard sale. It looks home made but it was so cute I couldn't pass it up. She got to wear her costume 2 days in a row which made her very happy. She wore it trick or treating and then got to wear it at her dad's house the next day as well.

She was really upset when it was time to stop even though she was so tired she could barely walk anymore. We went with some friends and me and my friend took turns carrying her because she didn't want to go in her stroller. I'm sure next year will be even more fun!! I can't wait.

I had to redo her make up a few times because she kept touching and smearing her hearts. By the end of the night the hearts did not look like hearts. She was still cute though. I also found her hair at a dollar store. I thought that worked better than the little hat that she was supposed to wear. It was too small for her head with all her beads in her hair.

Here she is right before we started trick or treating. My friends daughter is standing behind her and she is a witch. Her face paint was green and it almost ended up being permanent. By the time I got there they had tried to wash it off and her face was still really green. It was funny but she was so scared her face would be green forever. She's fine now but it took alot of Mary Kay product to get it off.

Update on me. I started my new job 2 weeks ago and I'm still waiting to be trained on my actual job. They have me putting invoices together and stapling them. Not my idea of fun but I hope to be trained soon.

I went out Halloween weekend with some friends since Asha was with her dad and had an AWESOME time. It's been sooo many years since I actually had fun when I went out to the bars. It's been just as many years since I actually drank when we went out. My friend had gone out the night before and wasn't in the mood to drink so she was the designated driver which left me free to have fun and drink and I did both.

I am thinking about taking Asha to her first movie at the movie theater today. Not sure how she will do but I'm going to try. I had to work over time yesterday so part of our Saturday together was shortened thanks to that so I want to do something special with her today. I hope she likes it and does well because we get discounted movie tickets through my work so if she does we can go more often.

I may also be biased but I think Asha is an amazing little budding artist. These are her people that she likes to draw. I call them her little aliens but they are just so darn cute I had to take a picture.

Well I need to go and make us some home made french toast with strawberries for breakfast and get my girl in the tub.

Fall Fun!!

2008-10-21T14:59:00.011-05:00

We had an amazing weekend a few weekends ago. We did everything Fall that I could fit into one weekend.

Friday night we went to the pumpkin patch and took a night time wagon ride through the woods. Asha sat on some really big pumpkins and picked out one pumpkin to carve. She got a little spooked by the guy dressed up like Spider Man. He actually jumped up on the roof of the building where they sold the pumpkins and he would jump on top of the soda machine and scare people as they walked by. Asha was happy to get on the wagon ride and get away from him.

This is Asha sitting on a big pumpkin. You could buy them but you would need a forklift to get it to your vehicle. They were about $50 for the big ones.

Here she is waiting for the wagon ride to start. She really did have alot of fun. She loved the wagon ride so much she wanted to go back the next day.

There was this big wagon full of pumpkins and Asha really wanted to sit on it so here she is.

Her sour face is from being scared of the Spider Man. She wouldn't look over by where he was, she was trying to pretend he wasn't there. She was fine once the wagon ride started.

The next day we went back to the pumpkin patch and this time we rode the wagon out to the pumpkin patch to get a pumpkin. This time she just wanted a small little pumpkin. Then we came home and I carved the pumpkins how she told me to carve them. We had one said one and one suprised one. While I carved she played in the leaves that the neighbor lady raked up at the bottom of the slide.

Sunday we went to church in my old town with some friends and then went to the town libraries 20th Anniversary celebration. That was alot of fun. They have this great kids singer named Tom Pease who sang there. He has been singing silly kids songs since I was Asha's age. He travels around the state doing shows at schools and he is just hilarious. We also took a walk by the river and played at the park. I don't have pictures of those things because I left my camera in the car after church. We walked every where that day because it was so beautiful.

She got her face painted at the pumpkin patch. The lady doing her face laughed because I soon as I pulled out the camera Asha says "Cheese"!! It was so funny.

This is the chosen pumpkin. I couldn't talk her into anything bigger.

Here she is playing in the leaf pile. She wouldn't even help me carve pumpkins because the leaves were more fun. She didn't want to touch the slimy stuff in the pumpkins anyway. LOL

Here are the finished products. She had her apron on to help carve pumpkins but she never even touched a seed.

I hope everyone is having a GREAT Fall. I know some people are saying that summer went to fast but I am so enjoying Fall.

For those who are wondering I go to court tomorrow to finalize the divorce and I am perfectly fine with it. Don't worry about me because I'm excited about that and excited to be starting my new job/life on Thursday. I am making so many friends and having so much fun with life that I can't believe I ever settled for the life that I had for the last 11 years.

Busy Busy Life

2008-10-12T17:05:00.006-05:00

I have been wanting to post for a few weeks now but life has just been so busy. Asha started her last session of the year in gymnastics so that keeps our Monday's pretty busy and the rest of the week is just keeping up with spending as much time outside as we can before it gets too cold.

Our weekends have been packed with fun things as well. This weekend we went to the pumpkin patch and picked pumpkins. She loved the wagon ride a lot and we ended up going 2 days in a row because she wanted to do it again. When we went on Friday we went at night and they had a night time ride through the woods and that was fun but she got really spooked because there was someone dressed up like Spider Man and he really was kind of creepy. He even climbed up on the roof of the shop where they sold the pumpkins. It was just really weird the way he moved. The other kids loved it but Asha got spooked so she kept asking the next day all the way back if he was still there or if he went home. I told her he went home and prayed that I was right. Thankfully he was not there.

This past week has been hectic for me because I got a new job. I had my interview on Monday, some Assesment tests right away on Tuesday and found out Wednesday I got the job. I gave my 2 weeks notice and will be starting the day after my divorce is final. As one of my friends said "Out with the old in with the new". My new job is amazing and I really think I will like it. My friend Missy thinks that I will go far in the company and that I will make management. I hope that is the case because managers there make ALOT of money and Asha and I would be set if that happens. I'm sure it will be a few years but it's a nice dream to work towards. It's amazing how far I've come in a year. I look back to where I was last year and I was so depressed and so sad and now I'm happy and have a wonderful job opportunity that could really take me far. For the first time in a very long time I have something to look forward to and work for.

Well here are the pictures which is what I'm sure you've all been waiting for.

Asha decided that her face and body made a good canvas for her chalk. More got on her than on the driveway.
Last Friday she was invited to a birthday part at a place kind of like Chuckee Cheese but it had rides there as well. She loved this duck game but loved getting tickets more. She would hit the button and watch the tickets pop out. She got so excited about the tickets before she even realized that she got prizes for the tickets too.

Here she is trying to play skeet ball. Don't ever let a 3 year old play this. She kept throwing the ball all over the place. I thought she was going to break the machine.

Here is her Halloween costume. She is going to be a little clown. I bought some princess make up with glitter that I will paint her face with. She will be more of a girly pastel clown than a regular clown.

I will have to post pictures of the pumpkin patch later. I thought I had taken them off of the camera but I guess I didn't.

Family Week

2008-09-21T12:44:00.001-05:00

Ok I just thought of a good post especially for those of you out there who have adopted and have open adoptions with your children's birth family.

Last week it was family week at Asha's school and we had to make a collage of all the things about our family. I asked the teacher what exactly she was looking for because I don't exactly have any recent pictures of Asha's brother and dad and I was also wondering if we should include her birthfamily or if that would confuse the other kids. She said I could do what ever I wanted. If i just wanted to do me and Asha that was fine if I wanted to include her dad and brother that was fine and if I wanted to include her birth family that was fine. So basically she was no help at all.

I did decide to put everyone in including her birth family because I do tell her that they are her family and that her bio sibs are her brother and sister and I didn't want to confuse her by not putting them in.

So my question is what do all of you other mothers do who have open adoptions when this kind of thing comes up at school? Do you just do your family or do you add the birth family?

Just curious because I'm sure this won't be the last time this will come up.

Thanks for any suggestions, advice, stories you want to give.

Update on Us

2008-09-21T09:04:00.005-05:00

Sorry Rebekah that I haven't been posting. Work has been crazy hectic and when I get home just want to spend time with my girl and relax a little.

The other week we spent the whole week concentrating on Asha not having accidents. When she came back from her dad's last time she had accidents all week at school and even a few at home. It took me until last Saturday to get her to stop having them. She just didn't want to tell anyone she had to go so she would go in her pants. She was fine last week though.

Her and I have also been fighting colds so trying to mend that way as well. Not much else going on worth posting about. Just regular life stuff.

She is missing her brother alot and when I dropped her off on Friday she unbuckled so fast and tried to get out of the car because she saw him that it cracked him up. He was laughing when she got out because she was so excited to see him. He even had to take her to the bathroom because he is all she wanted. We went to his old school the other week for a friends daughter's volleyball game and Asha remembered that it was his school and kept asking if he was there and I had to let her know that it wasn't his school anymore. It didn't help that we ran into some of his old friends and they asked if he was with us.

It's a good thing she isn't old enough to realize yet when her dad doesn't call on his designated days because he didn't call her at all this week. Usually if he misses a day he will atleast try to call the next day but he made no attempt at all to call her. If this happens when she's old enough to understand I will have to do something about it. She doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore than he's already hurt her.

Tomorrow she has gymnastics so that will be fun. I've tried to get more pictures of her doing that but the lighting in there isn't the best and all the pictures turn out dark. I've probably posted enough of those pictures though. I do have a few from the other day I will try to post at some point.

Hope everyone has a good week!!

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-07T08:28:00.009-05:00

We had a really good holiday weekend. Saturday we spent 3 hours at the beach and then came home to have the next door neighbors girls invite Asha to play in the sprinklers. The girl pretty much spent a whole day in her bikini which is absolutely in love with.

Here she is with her froggy innertube. It took her 2 hours to wade into the water up to her butt. She loves the beach just not the water.

Filling froggies face with mud. She liked to pretend her feet were stuck in the mud and ask me to "save" her and pull her out. Then she would shove my feet into the mud and "save" me.

Here she's doing a little splashing of her own. A boy ran past her and splashed her and she turns around and yells "Don't Splash Me!!" My friend who was with us cracked up laughing because her daughter is so quiet she would never yell at someone for splashing her. My friend was like "Wow she can take care of herself"!!

Trying very hard to take her sand castle with her. Unfortunately for her after this picture she picked it up and it crumbled so it was off to make another one.

The next door neighbor girl gave Asha her old Princess scooter and Asha has been on it almost every day since then. She absolutely loves it and the bell that came on it.

The weather was beautiful the whole weekend and we just had a really nice time being together and having so much fun. On Labor Day we ended up roasting marshmallows with her Grandma and Papa and cousin before bedtime and that was really nice. She enjoyed that and got VERY sticky.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend as well.

Asha's Obsessions & Pictures

2008-08-23T09:00:00.004-05:00

My girl has been obsessed with a few things this summer and her biggest thing is DRESSES. I can not get this little girl to wear anything but dresses. If all her dresses are dirty for the weekend then she wears skirts or her leotard dress. I keep trying to trick her into wearing shorts but she won't have it. She will negotiate until she gets to wear a dress.

Her next obsession would have to be the "Adams Family" song from the M&M's commercial. She sings it all the time now. It is so cute and when it gets to the snapping part she stops and looks at me because that's my part.

Her newest phrase if Ginormous. Everything is Ginormous. She is just so darn cute.

She is still talking about her color and it was so darn cute last Friday. We had a cookout with a friend of mine and she had a friend over who had adopted 2 African American children and Asha was holding the girls hand when we said grace before we ate and she kept looking at her hand holding the girls hand and then her other hand holding my hand. It was so cute. She was very fascinated with the boy. Actually he was 18 but he was right outside playing with Asha and pushing her on the swings. Asha fell in love with him. He even rode with us to get ice cream which thrilled her.

Well here are some pictures since it's been so long since I posted any.

I've been trying to get more pictures of me and my girl together since I don't have much from the last 3 years since I'm always the one taking the pictures.

Here she is in her new Bikini. She loves it and even though it's a little big she still wears it as much as she can.

That's all for new pictures right now. I thought I had taken more but with everything that's been going on this summer we haven't gotten out to do much this last month or so. I will try to take more pictures and post them.

We have plans to go to the beach with some friends Labor Day weekend and then I hope to take her to the local Fair if I can afford it next weekend as well so I should have some more pictures then.

Color

2008-08-11T21:01:00.002-05:00

Asha has really been noticing her color lately and has said some pretty funny things. The other day I asked if she wanted ice cream and she said she wanted chocolate. So she had chocolate and I was scooping up vanilla for myself and she says "I can't have that because it will make me pink". I said "vanilla ice cream will make you pink?" and she says "chocolate makes me brown." Goofy kid!! Then at gymnastics today she cracked me up. They were running around and the teacher would call out a color and the kids would have to find that color and she calls out brown and Asha stops and looks at her and says "I'm Brown" and touches arm.

It's never anything bad that she says or negative she's just been talking alot lately about being brown. I have talked to her teachers at school to see if any of the kids are making a big deal about it and the teacher says that no one does so I wonder if things are being said at her dad's house. According to "I'm Chocolate Your Vanilla" kids don't realize color at this age unless it's pointed out to them.

I just didn't think the talk of color would happen so young. I was a little thrown off when she started with it but now the funniest things come out of her mouth. I do let her know that eating ice cream will not turn her colors but it was just so unexpected when she said that.

She is just so silly!!

Thanks for the Prayers!!

2008-08-02T21:05:00.002-05:00

I appreciate everyone who is praying for me. It really means alot.

Not doing much this weekend and I would post pictures but the battery on my camera died today when I was at the beach with Asha so I can't upload them to post them. I did get a cute on of me and Asha though that I do want to post when I get another battery.

My camera is a battery hog so I have to splurge and get these $9 batteries so it might be a little while until I can post pictures.

I got Asha the cutest little bikini on sale but the bottoms are too big for her skinny little waist so I have to safety pin them. I was going to just put them away for next year but she wasn't having any of that. Once she saw it she was going to wear it no matter what. Before I pinned the bottoms she would put them on and then shake her little hips to get them to fall off and then she would laugh that she had a naked butt hanging out. Her new thing is that she wants to be naked. She keeps asking if she can go to the store, school and anywhere else we are going naked. I keep telling her that they will throw us out if she is naked. I said "Yes you are cute naked but there are people in this world that we do not want to see naked and if you walk around naked then they will want to walk around naked." That brought about a big "WHY?" We have been at this stage for a few months now and I just don't have anymore answers for the "WHY" question. I have tried explaining everything in as many ways as I can and it just doesn't work and I had previously taught her that because is not an answer so when I say because she tells me that that's not an answer. She's just too smart for own good sometimes.

She is doing really well. The tantrums have settled down alot and we've really been having a good time together. She does have pink eye right now which I'm not even really sure she ever had but according to her dad's girlfriend she did. I have seen no signs of pink eye at all. She has been really good about me giving her the drops though. She lays down and closes her eyes and I count each drop I put in and then she blinks and is on her way. No fits or tantrums or anything. She is just amazing. I hate getting drops put in my eyes but it's nothing to her.

She's also been asking alot about her brothers and sisters lately. I let her know that Dakota and her bio brother are her brothers and that her bio sister is her sister. I think it is hard to see kids at school with their brothers and sisters and she only gets to see Dakota every other weekend and her other bio sibs once a year. It makes me want to move closer so they can see eachother more but that won't happen because it's just waaaaay too hot in Florida for me. I know she misses having Dakota around and I've even thought about foster care for an older child but I can't afford that right now. I would have no problem adopting an older child from foster care if I had the room and the money. I know Asha would love having an older sibling. She gets along so well with my friend Debbie's daughter who is like an older sister to her.

Well it's been kind of a long emotional day and I need to get to bed but again thank you all for the prayers and I will try to be a better blogger. I am also going to get this blog back to what it originally started out to be and that's about Asha.

Dr. Results

2008-07-31T20:53:00.003-05:00

I know some of you want me to post the results of what the dr. said today but I'm not going to. Asha's dad sometimes reads this blog and personally what is wrong with me is none of his business so if anyone wants to know please e-mail me and I will tell you.

Not trying to keep anyone in suspense I just don't feel my health is any of his concern. I don't think he's read this blog for a long time but just in case I'm not going to post anything.

I would appreciate prayers though and any e-mails will be answered when I have time to answer them. I can't guarantee it will be right away because I am a single mother with a VERY active 3 year old but I will try and get to them as soon as possible.

Thank you all for your support and concern.

Absentee Again!!

2008-07-28T21:07:00.003-05:00

Sorry I haven't been posting. It's been kind of rough around here and now I may have to have my pancreas or gall bladder out. I will find out on Thursday.

Asha came home from her dad's with pink eye so we've been dealing with that. She's actually doing really well with letting me give her the drops. She is such a good girl.

She is so worried about me because she knows I'm sick. I was trying to hide it from her but she walked in on me in the bathroom last week throwing up and now when I go in the bathroom she asks if I'm going to throw up. She also jumped on me last week when I was in so much pain and I screamed out in pain and started to cry. I couldn't help it and felt so bad because then she started to cry because she thought she hurt me. She always asks now if she can cuddle with me or if it's going to hurt me. I feel so bad. I keep reassuring her that she did not hurt me and that I love to cuddle with her.

She is still asking for our other house. I let her know that mommy can't afford to live there because I don't have enough money. I wish I could afford to live there because I think it would make some things so much easier on her. I loved our town and that house. I cry when I drive through our town because I miss it so much.

I've just been an emotional mess. I am really scared that I may need surgery and I've never had surgery and it scares me to death. Luckily there is a wonderful friend who said that we could stay with her for 2 weeks if I had to have surgery because if I do I won't be able to carry Asha or anything for atleast 2 weeks. She said her and her daughters would take care of both of us and we could stay with them. We would be back in our old town again!!! I can't believe that this friend offered this to us but I feel so blessed to have her in my life!! THANK YOU GOD for my wonderful friends and all the people who are praying for me and care about me!!

Memories

2008-07-08T20:34:00.002-05:00

Asha apparently has an amazing memory. On Saturday we went to a cookout at my friends house and she just bought a house on the same road as our old house and as soon as we turned onto the road Asha said "are we going to our house?" I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure she would have forgotten about it by now but she remembered. She even remembered when we were at the park in our old town that I used to take her and Dakota there.

It's actually kind of sad because now she's been asking to go home and when we get home she says "not this home". She has also been talking about the park alot and when I used to take her and Dakota.

Her and I are really missing him and I wish he could come over more. It doesn't seem to be getting easier on either one of us. It's actually getting harder. There are things I'm starting to miss and she's obviously missing some things too.

She has even started asking me "what are we missing?" and when I say I don't know she'll look at me and say "Dakota". It's so sad because she was so close to her brother. When he came home from school she used to tell him "I'm so happy you are here!!" I was really excited for her to have a big brother when we got her and then for him to be such a good big brother was so wonderful to see. He would have done anything for her and she adored him so much. He would go to the fair with his friends and spend most of his money winning her things at the different games. He would turn down playing with his friends to stay home and play with her. He was an AWESOME big brother.

We sure do miss him.

Happy 4th Of July!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-04T21:33:00.010-05:00

Our weekend plans got all turned upside down but that's fine. Asha and I are flexible and as long as we are having fun together it doesn't matter where we go or who we are with.

We were supposed to go to a cook out at a friends house and then to the fireworks with them but her husband decided to change their plans so they went somewhere else which left me and Asha on our own. We hung out at home most of the day and I made stuff for the cook out that we are invited to tomorrow that might not happen as well. My friend's daughter had the flu yesterday and my friend thought she was getting it too. She will let me know tomorrow if we are still on or not. Any way we decided to go to a petting zoo and then we went back to my home town where we were going to watch fireworks tonight. We played at the park and had Subway for supper until it was late enough for us to head over to the fair grounds where the fireworks are held. Well we sat there for an hour and blew bubbles and played ball waiting for the fireworks to start and as soon as they started lighting off the practice ones Asha freaked and instantly wanted to go home. She was up early today and wouldn't take a nap so I'm sure that's most of why it freaked her so much but right before they started we left and came home. She was sleeping by the time we got here.

It was fine I am tired anyway. We've been doing ALOT this week and I need a little down time this weekend as well.

Tomorrow we will probably go swimming and then to the cookout if it's still on. If it's not on we will have a little fire here and roast some marshmallows maybe with Asha's grandma and grandpa if they want to join us. Either way is fine with me. I can be more flexible now that it's just the 2 of us.

Well I want to post some pictures and get to bed. I'm exhausted. Here's some pictures from this past week. ENJOY!!

Here's my patriotic girl all ready to celebrate the 4th of July. I found this dress at KMart for $3 or $5 I think. It was the last one and perfect for today.

The camera just loves her and I love to take pictures of her.
Here she is at the park today. She was trying to do all the big kid stuff and just wasn't having it that mom said she was too little. I ended up spotting her on alot of stuff because she was going to try it no matter what.

We spent an hour and a half at this park. It's the one in my home town and I used to take the kids there a few times a week last summer.

I took her to the beach this week on one of my short days and she had a blast. I wasn't sure how she would be in the water and she started to walk in and just kept on walking. I had to follow her in to make sure she didn't go too far.

Dakota stopped over the other day unexpectedly. He was fishing with his grandpa and when they got back and he saw we were home he came in to visit. It was a very nice visit. I miss him alot and it was like old times having him here and Asha was extactic that he was here. She cried when he had to leave. They look so happy to be together. He even had his papa wake him up at 7:30 the next morning so he could come down and see us before we left for the day.

It's been a good week and a good holiday weekend so far. Hope everyone else can say the same.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!

Missing My Girl!!

2008-06-29T10:27:00.002-05:00

I am missing Asha so bad this weekend. We've really been having alot of fun lately now that I've got a system down for her tantrums and rages and she's been having fewer of both. Plus I just had her for 2 weeks in a row and it's hard to not have her here. All I wanted to do yesterday was call her but I didn't want to interrupt her fun so I didn't.

I had so many things I wanted to do this weekend and just didn't really do any of them. I'm just so sad without her here. Some weekends I am fine without her but for some reason this is a hard weekend. I don't know if it's because my in laws went down there as well and I feel like I'm missing out on something I used to be a part of or what but it's hard. That his my family down there having fun together and I'm here alone. Weekends like this really make me hate Josh. Most days I don't even really give him a second thought but when he has Asha that's all I can do is think about him and the fact that he has her and I want her here.

I didn't try out the new church this weekend so Asha and I will probably go next Saturday. I had a migraine the morning I wanted to go and that pushed everything back for the day. The only thing I really got accomplished this weekend was cleaning the house. It took a while for my migraine to go away and then by the time I got done cleaning church had already started. I could have gone this morning but didn't wake up until 10 am. Mindy I will let you know how I like the church next weekend.

I am excited about next weekend because I have a 3 day weekend and I get to spend it all with my girl!!!! We are going to go to the beach, and have picnics and go to parks and have a little fire outside and make toasted marshmallows and see fireworks and go to a celebration in our old town to play games and see old cars. She is just so much fun to be with and she cracks me up with the things she says and does. It should be a fun weekend!!

Yo Yo Kind of Week

2008-06-26T17:38:00.002-05:00

It's been an interesting week around here. Probably just normal life things but some are taking their toll on me and some are just shocking me.

I don't even know where to start. The week started out rough with me not getting alot of sleep because I was in sooo much physical pain it kept waking me up. This keeps happening that once or twice a month it feels like there is something huge in me pushing all my insides out and when I even lay down or touch my back, sides or stomach area it hurts soooooooooo bad. I can't even sleep because the pain is so bad. I did tell my dr. and he just said it's tense muscles and gave me muscle relaxers but they scare me since my mom had a really bad accident with them (she pooped on my step dad in bed while they slept LOL). I really don't want that to happen to me so I won't take them. I really think it's something else but not sure what it could be but it hurts bad. Any way that went away after the first few days and I felt pretty good yesterday but work has been really busy and a little difficult this week also. It's like the lady I replaced told me when you finally think your doing something right you get yelled at that you are doing it wrong. The weird part is though that even though I was getting yelled at I was also getting complimented on how good a job I am doing which is where the shocking part comes in.

The other lady that works with me informed me yesterday that along with her I am also in the running for management. (Picture here a completely shocked face ) I have never been considered for management and was not even aware that this was an option since he knows I am a single parent and that my daughter comes first. I just assumed I would always be the secretary and maybe eventually the office manager but not in charge of a crew and stuff like that. I bet I could really make a good living with this company and he is very generous with raises but the unfortunate part is that he does not offer insurance and eventually I will need to find a job that has insurance if I want to ever make more money. I am pretty much at my max for hours and pay right now without loosing my insurance through the state. I don't plan on making $9 an hour for the rest of my life. If he would offer me insurance with that raise I just may stay forever. I love love love my job but need insurance more.

What makes it a yo yo week is that I was also pretty depressed the beginning of the week thinking about 4th of July and the fact that we wouldn't have a big family celebration this year like we normally do and it made me sad for me and Asha. I cried alot about it and then I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself which was just stupid because I was the one who planned all the fun activities for all the holidays so I am still here and I can still make this a fun 4th of July for me and Asha and that's what I'm going to do. I don't need Josh here for her and I to have fun. I actually have a very fun and busy weekend planned for us and there really isn't any room in our plans for anyone else. It's really nice to know that I can make plans and have them stick or cancel them and not have to worry about other people and their plans.

WOW is it Friday yet? LOL I have a pretty busy weekend planned for me too since Asha will be with her dad. I am going to try and get out there more and meet new people so I am going to visit a church at the end of my road this weekend and visit an Alanon group here in my new town as well. I love my old church and my old Alanon group but I just can't afford to drive back there for meetings and church so it's time to find some new places. Wish me luck ladies.

Have a GREAT weekend!!

June Dairy Days & Pictures

2008-06-21T21:09:00.005-05:00

June Dairy Days was fun but VERY dusty. With all the rain we've been having I wouldn't have thought there would be that much dust flying around but Asha and I both needed baths by the time we got home.

Asha got to pet and feed a baby cow. They had a mamma horse and a baby horse for the kids to pet, some ducks, some sheep and a bunny. Asha loved it and really had alot of fun. They had free ice cream all over so she had a rootbeer float and then Culvers was there making free sundaes so she had some of those as well. She kept saying she was having an "ice cream picnic". It was so cute!!

She really liked feeding the baby cow. I couldn't get her to let other kids in to feed the cow because she wanted to stay there. They also had someone playing Polka music and she loved it. She kept stopping and dancing every time she would hear them.

It is finally staying nice here and not raining so much so we've been able to play outside more. We are still having some behavior problems so we only go outside if she is behaving but for the most part she's been great. She loves school and they have Sprinkler Days where the kids can bring their swimsuits and play int he sprinklers. Some days she does it some days she doesn't. She is kind of picky about water so it's hit and miss with that.

Well here are some pictures from June Dairy Days and just some random pictures.

Here's Asha eating her rootbeer float.

Here she is feeding her favorite baby cow. He was so sweet.

Here she has climbed up on the railing to try and pet the sheep. It was hard to get alot of good pictures because there were so many kids trying to push their way to the animals.

Her new favorite obsession is her pink footy pajamas. She found them in her drawer a few days ago and put them on and hasn't really wanted to take them off since. As soon as we get home from school/work she puts them on. It's a struggle to even get her dressed in the morning because she wants to wear them EVERYWHERE!!

We are enjoying our summer so far and we're looking to the 4th of July. I did her hair in red, white and blue beads last night and I will eventually get a picture of that up.

She is with her dad right now that's why I have time to blog. I will keep trying to update as much as I can. Being a single parent is a pretty busy job and she is still pretty clingy when we are together so it makes it hard to blog when she's trying to sit on the keyboard. LOL

She Made Breakfast

2008-06-21T09:08:00.002-05:00

I just have to share what just happened.

Asha made her own breakfast. I was in the shower and when I came out she had gone in the fridge and gotten one of those little plastic applesauce containers out with the tin lid for travel and she opened it all by herself and made herself breakfast. She's never done that before. I was just so impressed I had to share. She is getting so big!!

Well I need to finish getting ready so we can go pet some cows. We are going to a farm for June Dairy Days. They are having free ice cream, petting zoo and hay rides. It should be fun and I'll post pictures later.

Air Show and Updates!!

2008-06-08T11:01:00.009-05:00

I'm sorry I forgot to update you all on my job situaton. The week after Memorial day I started my new schedule at work. My boss came up with an even better work schedule than I did. I now work Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9 am to 4 pm and Tuesday and Thursday from 8 am to 1 pm. It is an awesome schedule. I still have 2 days a week that I get off early so Asha and I can go and do a picnic, swimming or a park before we have to do supper and night time routine. PLUS I get to keep my insurance and I don't even think I'll have to pay a premium. Asha is also at daycare more so they cover more of the daycare so it turned out really well. She is adjusting to being there longer so fast and really likes that I pick her up outside on my longer days. She gets to play on the playground in the afternoon now and she loves it. That's how she figures out when I'm going to pick her up that day. She asks "Are you picking me up outside or at nap?" She is just so smart.

Last weekend we went to an airshow since her dad didn't pick her up. He took her this weekend since he had to come and move his son down by him. If Asha would have gone last weekend it would have been a month that she hadn't seen her brother and I want them to stay close.

The airshow was pretty fun. Asha didn't really have any interest in getting out to of the stroller until we got by the army vehicles. We went with a friend of mine and her son who is a year older than Asha so when he got out of his stroller to sit in the army vehicles Asha wanted to as well. She is just so happy riding along in her stroller that she could seriously do it all day. She throws a huge fit when we are taking a walk and I start back down our road because she just likes to ride so much.

Well here are the pictures from the airshow and some random ones from the week.

I LOVE my camrea. This is so much better quality than my old camera. The sad part though is that I wanted a better camera for taking pictures of Dakota at his sports. I could have gotten some awesome football pictures of him with this camera.

Asha sitting in an Army jeep. I think it's an Army jeep. I'm sure someone will let me know if I'm wrong.

Close up of Asha in an Army jeep. She had alot of fun.

Asha's new favorite pass time. I found a Winnie The Pooh game that we had for Dakota when he was little and I put it in for her and she LOVES it. She asks to play all the time. The problem is that she clicks all over the screen and the other day she had it in some strange language that I couldn't figure out. I'm going to look into getting her some more games. She has so much fun.

There baaaaaack!! LOL She dug the pink boots out of her closet the other day and wore them a few days in a row. I think they are starting to get a little small so I should hide them when she is gone. I did see some cute ones at Walmart the other day but might wait until Fall to get her some.

Here she is just being silly. She likes to wear her pants and shorts on her head for some reason. I plan on taking her to an African World Festival in August and they have the African head wraps there I think I will buy her one.

I did get her 3 year picture done and I will scan and post that soon. I'm not going to post the one of the 2 of us because it didn't turn out very well. We are both making faces. I bought it just to have one of us together but it's not that great.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I get to go and pick Asha up in a few hours. I did talk to her on the phone yesterday and she did ask to come home but I'm sure she was having fun.

Wonderful Weekend!!

2008-05-26T20:34:00.012-05:00

First of all before I forget I want to say how truly amazing and sometimes fearless my daughter is. She did 2 things this weekend that I have never done and probably will never do. She held a rat and a mouse. My friend Debbie who we went and spent the weekend with has 5 children, 3 girls and 2 boys and the 2 youngest girls each have either a rat and a mouse or a mouse as a pet. Asha held them both and I just couldn't believe she did it. I thought she would get freaked out but it didn't bother her at all and she was really excited about them. She even fed the rat a carrot and got the biggest kick out of it.

We went to the zoo with my friend and her kids for the holiday weekend and had a fun time.

This is Asha, my friends son Caleb and a little girl named Gracie who came along with her mom. We just thought this was so cute. Caleb and his "girlfriends".

Asha loved being with Gracie and they had to hold eachothers hands. It was just so cute!!

Here's my girl petting a goat. I was suprised she got this close to one. She was in the petting area for the longest time. My friend Debbie took her in and I don't think she could get her to leave.

Asha kept trying to feed this poor goat and I think he was just too full to eat anymore.

When we got home from Debbie's on Monday it was pretty windy out so I decided to put Asha's new kite together and see if we could get it to fly. She is a natural at that too. She had that kite in the air pretty much all by herself and even figured out that if it started to fall if she stepped back or put her arm down it would cause tension and it would go back up all by herself. I just stepped back and took pictures and video taped her. She is just amazing!!

Asha and her Dora kite.

She just did so well. I am so impressed with her.

Look at that concentration. She had lots of fun but she takes things so seriously sometimes.

I also came up with a new hair style for her. It's the one she has in all the pictures but here's a closeup of it.

Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I know some states got hit with some bad weather so I hope everyone is ok.

Also thank you to everyone who has voted for my girl on the Parents.com website.

Child Model Search

2008-05-19T20:52:00.003-05:00

I entered Asha into the child model search in the Parent magazine. Just hoping that you will go and vote for her!!Pass it on and have everyone you know vote for my girl!! THANKS!!Gallery Link: http://www.parents.com/app/sharemy/photoDetails.jsp?photoId=172800345

I would appreciate as many votes as she can get.

Also I think I better elaborate a little on the end of my last post. I drive 6 hours every other weekend to drop off Asha and pick her up. My husband will not help me out because he is paying alimony and child support and believes that I should be driving even further than I am. He chose to move 4 hours away and Asha and I have to suffer for it. My poor girl spends 8 hours in a car every other weekend. Definately not where a 3 year old wants to be. It's a good thing she travels well otherwise it would be an even bigger nightmare than it already is. That is also the hardest part if I have to work full time is that I would get done in time to pick her up on Friday and take her to her dad's. I wouldn't even get to spend time with her before she leaves that day.

I did get an e-mail from my social worker and she said that I could keep my insurance if I pay a premium but she didn't say how much that is. It wouldn't even be worth working full time if the premium is what I'm making extra a pay check. I just don't know what to do. I need the insurance because I have severe thyroid problems and if I don't take my meds or go to the doctor I will most likely die from it. The social worker also didn't mention if it would help or hurt my day care assistance. I already pay $200 a month for day care and that's with assistance.

I just don't know what to do and now Asha is sick with the runs again. This is the second time she's come back from her dad's with the runs. Thankfully my mother in law could watch her today but I doubt she can handle it 2 days in a row so if Asha still has the runs tomorrow I have to take off of work which I can't afford. If I send her and she has the runs at school then I'm missing 2 days of work.

Please pray for us and our situation. There are people who do have it worse but I am just worried about the insurance.

Sorry to dump I just don't know where to go from here. I hope the social worker has good news for me tomorrow. I left her a message today to find out what the premium would be but she didn't call back.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Growing up soooooooooooo fast!!

2008-05-14T06:36:00.004-05:00

My little girl is growing up so fast. Almost every day she does something that makes me think Wow is she really old enough to be doing that already?

She can pretty much dress herself and almost always puts her pants and underwear on the right way. She is pretty good with getting the shoes on but sometimes they land on the wrong feet. She is getting better though.

She will even go in the bathroom all by herself and put the potty insert on the big potty and do her business and then wipe and wash her hands without me even saying anything.

She has also started to help me set the table for supper which she loves to do. She gets the napkins out for us and if I forget to ask her she will go and do it by herself. She will even go in the fridge and get herself something to drink if she already has a glass in there.

It's just so hard to believe that a month ago she couldn't do some of these things and then all of a sudden she is acting so big.

She even talks older. Some of the things that come out of her mouth just shock me. She realizes now that if she gets hurt or does something that could hurt her that mommy will get sad if Asha gets hurt. She will tell me this when she thinks she's doing something that is dangerous. "If I fall and get hurt it will make mommy sad." She will then stop what she is doing and do something safer. She is just so amazing.

Here are some more pictures:

She just looks so grown up sometimes.

First time this spring blowing bubbles. We've finally had some nice days so we could get outside and do something like this.

Here she is playing in her sand table for the first time this spring as well. I miss having a fence around the yard because she spends more time running away than actually playing.

I've been a little depressed this weekend. I have the opportunity to go full time at work and I might actually have to do it. With all the gas I am spending taking Asha to her dad's and picking her up every other weekend I just can't afford to work part time. I love having the afternoons with Asha and being able to still have playdates with her friends but it looks like those are going to have to end. I really didn't want to work full time until she was in school but the gas is killing me and that's not going to get better any time soon.

I am really going to miss spending time with her and the 3 or so hours after work just isn't enough time with her. It hurts that I may have to go full time. I love to spend time with her and it's making me pretty sad that I even have to consider working full time.

Pictures Finally!!

2008-05-11T15:48:00.008-05:00

I finally got some pictures taken of Asha which is suprising since she's been sick since Thursday. She's been in a pretty good mood even though she's sick. We did have some difficulty yesterday when trying to get her 3 year old pictures taken. In 45 minutes we only got 2 pictures. She got spooked when the lady raised the canvas behind her and it made a weird noise. After that she wouldn't sit on the table she kept jumping off right before the lady would snap the picture. We got one of Asha and then one of me and Asha and that was it in 45 minutes.

She is doing really well though with potty training. She wore underwear all day yesterday and even went potty at Walmart which she HATES to do because the toilets are so loud they spook her. She kept them dry all day until she was playing with her cousin and then didn't want to stop playing to go potty.

Asha is so funny!! She scolded me yesterday at Walmart. I had to do some grocery shopping after we "tried" to get her pictures taken and I was climbing up on a shelving unit trying to get a bottle of Diet Cherry 7Up down and she just kept repeating something over and over again so I climbed down and asked what she was saying and she says "Your going to smash your face!" So I ask her "I'm going to smash my face?" She says "YES if you fall you will smash your face and it will make me sad!!" My heart melted and at the same time I had to laugh because I was getting scolded by my 3 year old daughter. She was right though so I asked a man to grab it down for me. She's a smart one my girl!!

Well here's the pictures I've been promising!!

She figured this out all on her own. If she puts that step stool in front of the cabinet door it won't open all the way and she can stand on it and watch herself in the mirror. I was shocked when we were brushing our teeth together and she did this. She is waaaay too smart sometimes.
This is also another reason that I haven't posted many pictures. This is what she does now every time I bring the camera out. She closes her eyes and will even walk around like this so I can't take her picture. Also note the sticker she is wearing. She got that from my doctor's office and it says "I Pitchd A Fit" because she threw a huge one there.

This is how she landed after doing a forward roll on the ottoman. That is her new favorite thing to do at home now.

I just thought this was a pretty picture of her. The shirt she is wearing is from her Mamma D for her birthday. It's a Florida State University T-shirt. It look so good on her.

Hope everyone had a GREAT Mother's Day. Ours wasn't very interesting since Asha's been sick but it was nice just to stay home and cuddle.

Gymnastics Natural!!

2008-05-03T07:01:00.002-05:00

I must brag about my girl!! She is a natural at gymnastics if I haven't said it before. She is in a new class with 4 and 5 year olds who have been doing this for a few years already and she is keeping up if not doing better than some of them. Monday at her class the coach kept coming off the floor to tell me how awesome she was doing and how impressed she was with Asha. Makes a mamma's heart proud.

Asha really is amazing out there. She just turned 3 which is when you can usually just start them out and she's only been doing it for 6 months and is just as good if not better than the older girls. She is awesome at the balance beam and not just when it's laying flat. The coach will make little obsticle courses with the balance beams placing one end on top of another so they are angled and Asha can do it and not fall off. The other girls fall off and mess around and Asha is serious and doing her best to not fall off. I am just so impressed by her.

On another note she is growing like a weed. The girl eats from sun up to sun down and I can't keep up with buying her pants that fit. My mother in law and I are going to a town wide rummage sale today so I can stock up on pants for her for the rest of spring and hopefully for next winter since she just doesn't seem to ever stop growing. My girl is all legs. She has these long beautiful legs and my mother in law wants me to get her in dance classes but she has so much fun in gymnastics and dance classes aren't in the budget right now but I bet she would be a beautiful dancer with her legs.

Well enough bragging I just had to put some good news out there. It's been a rough few weeks around here with her rages and tantrums so I just wanted to focus on how wonderful she is too.

Have a great weekend everyone and I promise pictures are coming. She's had a cold and not up to posing for me again. I'm working on it though.

Thank You!!

2008-04-22T21:08:00.002-05:00

Thank you for the comments on my last post. It did get better after a 2 hour temper tantrum. They are actually more like rages and at one point I laid her on the ground and straddled her so she couldn't kick me anymore and just talked to her calmly asking what she wanted and letting her know that I love her but couldn't help her if she wouldn't stop crying. Of course she didn't stop and I ended up putting her to bed where she cried for another half hour 45 minutes and once I heard her quiet down I went in and sat on her rocking chair and asked if she wanted me to rock her. She didn't but she had stopped crying and wanted jello so I got her some. She was fine until I asked her if she wanted to go to the old house with me so I could get the rest of my clothes and then she lost it again. I called my mother in law to see if she could watch her so I could go alone. My mother in law said to bring her up and she would try to help me calm her down so maybe she could go with me. It worked and Asha was fine the rest of the night. I even got to go to my meeting and she was good through the whole thing.

We ended up having a really nice night. We went out to eat at a little restaurant in our old town and she ate really well and was her old silly happy self. I just wish she could be like that right away after I pick her up so we could go and do some fun stuff together instead of fighting for an hour to 2 hours every day. She did want to cuddle as soon as we got home and at the meeting she was on my lap the whole time but she was good and not screaming so it was fine. I love love love to cuddle with her but most of the time I can't even go to the bathroom without it causing a tantrum. It's just so hard and I'm on pins and needles with her for those few hours after we get home not wanting to do anything to upset her.

You are all wonderful for the support and I am going to check out that other blog Angel thank you for that.

Aves I will be contacting you once we are all settled in for a playdate. I would love to take Asha to that park over the river and I think Shell would like to go with us too.

Mindy you are so wonderful to pray for us and it is greatly appreciated. Days like today we really needed them.

Love you all and thanks for helping us out.

I Want To Cry!!

2008-04-22T14:29:00.002-05:00

This has all been so hard on Asha. For the most part she is doing well but I think the move has done her in. She is still confused and when we leave our new place to go anywhere she asks if we are going home and I have to tell her that this is our home now. There are days she cries when we come here because she wants the other house. I was supposed to go back today and get some more stuff and do a little more cleaning but I'm scared of what it will do to her.

She has been crying now for an hour straight and it doesn't seem like she's going to stop. There has just been too much change her in life in such a short time and she's kind of snapped now. Since she came back from her dad's house on Sunday she's been so clingy and whiney and crying ALOT and I can't do anything because I have to hold her constantly or she just won't stop crying. She has been crying for about 45 minutes before school every morning and atleast an hour after I pick her up. She doesn't like to go to school and just wants me all the time and I just can't give her me all the time. She's in her room right now throwing a massive temper tantrum and nothing I say or do helps. I hate this that she is so miserable and there is nothing I can do.

I had to cancel my dr. appointment for this afternoon because she just won't stop crying and throwing these horrible tantrums. I can't even pick her up off the floor without getting kicked and pumeled by her. I have a meeting tonight that I have to miss for the second week in a row because she will just scream the whole time like she has the last few times I've gone.

I miss her so much when I'm at work but it's to the point I'm afraid to pick her up because I don't want to put up with this anymore. I want to be able to come home and take her on walks or go to the park and we can't do anything because she just screams, cries and throws tantrums for atleast an hour. It is so hard and I am so tired.

Sorry to dump but doesn't anyone have any suggestions. Time outs don't work anymore because she refuses to sit and if I try to hold her she just kicks me and I've tried to ignore her but then she grabs my clothes and pulls on me and kicks me. Where did my sweet girl go? Oh yeah she left when her daddy left.

That is the suckiest part is I still have to suffer the consequences of his actions and he doesn't have to deal with them at all.

We are Still Here!!

2008-04-20T21:36:00.002-05:00

Moving is so tiring especially when you do the bulk of it on your own. I had a few guy friends who were able to help me out on Saturday morning and my wonderful father in law put my bed together while my mother in law distracted me for a while in her apartment. If I haven't told you before I am living in the same building as my in laws. I know people are probably cringing at that but they are wonderful and I think I am really going to like it. My mother in law just called me a little while ago to make sure Asha and I were home and safe. I had to pick Asha and her brother up from her dad's this afternoon so she just wanted to make sure we made it home safe and sound.

Anyway I got off topic there but my father in law came and put my bed together which is insanely heavy and rearranged my living room for me and carried in the last cabinet all by himself all in like half an hour. All those things would have taken me all day to do. It helped so much and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I hope I never loose them which could happen with the divorce. They are the only family I have and I love them so much!!

I should be unpacking the office right now but instead I am updating all of you. We are loving the new place alot and Asha seems very comfortable here. I made sure to have her room all ready for her and the house is pretty much together. The office turned into the catch all room so that will take some time but other than that we are ready to start our new lives together. I love it when Asha says this is mommy and Asha's house. The other place there was too much of a connection with her dad but this place is just ours and it sounds good to hear that it is just our place.

I am having so much fun putting things where I want and not having to debate with someone about where things should go. I know I've said that before but it is just so freeing to be able to make decisions on your own and not have to worry about someone else's opinion.

I did get irritated on Friday because my soon to be ex husband tried to help by bringing a few things for me and I just didn't like that he put things where he "thought" they should go. I didn't want his opinion in anything having to do with my new place and even though he was trying to help I just wanted it to be all me and my decision. He also brought some things that I wasn't planning on keeping so it made a little more work for me because I had to take it back to the other house.

Well I have work tomorrow and I should get to bed. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying wonderful weather. This weekend here was gorgeous and I can't wait for more days like today.

No Pics Again Sorry!!

2008-04-12T21:08:00.003-05:00

I have been really bad lately about not posting pictures. We've just been so busy that I haven't found the time to even pick up the camera plus Asha has been sick and not much in the mood to pose for me.

I promise as soon as she is feeling better and our life slows down a little I will get back to taking pictures and posting them.

Our life should slow down after next week. I am loving my job and they love me and have chosen to give me the morning shift from 8 to 1. It will be so nice to have the afternoon with Asha and time to actually plan and cook a meal instead of the rush rush meals I've been doing these last few weeks. I think it will be a nicer slower pace for both of us to not have to break up our day with me going to work and then picking her up from day care and having to run to gymnastics and my Tuesday night meeting.

Moving is going well. I took another load over today and got almost every thing I had over there unpacked and started to assemble the desk I bought for my computer. I am taking another load over tomorrow after church and then will unpack that right away and work on the desk some more. My new hours will also give me lots of time in the afternoon to load up my van for the next day and give me time to unload and unpack. We will be all moved in by next Saturday. We are really liking it there and Asha didn't want to leave tonight. I wish I would have had my camera because her 2 cousins were over at my in laws house so the girls both came down and played with Asha while I unpacked. Asha had so much fun and it's really going to be nice that she gets to see her cousins more often.

Well I've got more packing to do or maybe I'll head to be. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!

It's Amazing!!

2008-04-07T22:29:00.002-05:00

I am actually having so much fun packing. I have always hated to move but this move isn't that bad. I am moving somewhere that Asha and I can make new memories for just us and I will be able to decorate any way I want. I can even pack how I want. I never realized how many things I wanted to do that I couldn't do when I was married.

There were so many things that I wanted to do but were made to feel were wrong or told that I was doing it wrong. Packing was always a nightmare because I guess I never did it right and would have to listen to that the whole time I was packing.

I was never allowed to put too many pictures on the walls or shelves because they would look cluttered but I love pictures and I love to see my girl all over and now I can. I was never allowed to have too many things on the counter in the kitchen because it would look cluttered and now I can have whatever I want on the counters. It will be my house and I can decorate however I want. I could make everything purple if I wanted to and there is no one to tell me I can't. It is an AMAZING feeling!!!

The apartment will be mine all mine and I can do what I want. I haven't had the feeling in almost 11 1/2 years. That feeling of being pushed down and held down is gone and I feel so light and free. I can be me again. I forgot who that was for soooo many years and I am finding me again and I actually like her. She has grown and matured and I really like her. I haven't liked her for close to 9 years now and it's nice to actually like myself. It's a new feeling one that I have NEVER had before in my whole life.

Life is good and I am enjoying it so much!! Thank you everyone for your support and wonderful comments!! Love ya!!

We're Moving!

2008-04-06T20:54:00.002-05:00

Apparently I've used this title before but we are indeed moving again. I can't afford our house and since we are trying to sell it and no one has even looked at it yet I am going to move out and let my soon to be ex husband rent it until it sells. This way I will be able to save up some money and hopefully in 2 years move back to this wonderful little town and buy a nice little house for me and Asha.

For now I have to move us about 20 minutes away because the rent is cheaper and there are more places to choose from. The funny part is is that we are moving into J's (husband) apartment that he is moving out of. I thought this best because Asha has been there and she is familiar with it so it won't be such a big change for her. Plus my in laws live in the same building and Asha will love having her grandma and papa so close. They also watch their other grand daughter alot so the girls can play more than they get to now. They are less than a year apart in age so they have so much fun together.

It is a nice 3 bedroom apartment in a 4 plex. It has a garage, a patio, washer/dryer hookups, and a nice little side yard for Asha to play. Everything is included in the rent except electric and then of course cable and internet but it will really help me to save some money. My goal is to get us back to this town in time for Asha to start school. It is one of the best schools in the state and I really want her to go here.

I am excited but it is going to be a busy few weeks. We are moving in a week and a half but I am slowly taking boxes of stuff over since J isn't living there now. He will have all of his stuff out this coming weekend and I get to move in the next weekend. My biggest worry is where to fit everything. I am taking a house full of stuff and trying to fit it into an apartment. It should be cozy that's for sure. Thankfully it has a garage that I can store stuff in I just might have to park outside which isn't the end of the world.

Wish me luck ladies but it should be a great new start to my great new life. Asha's too because that girl is my life and everything I do is obviously for her.

First Time At Day Care

2008-04-02T21:14:00.002-05:00

Well Asha is attending her very first day care and it is an amazing facility. It kills me to have to leave her but leaving her in such a wonderful place does make it alot easier.

Asha is attending day care because I got myself a part time job. I may also get another part time job if a friend of mine needs me to do the books for her business.

Asha is doing pretty well with the whole day care thing but has been more clingy and even had to sleep with me last night. She kept waking up crying for me and she was like that most of last night too. She couldn't bare to be away from me. I hope tonight is better.

She does get upset when I have to leave and they have to peel her off of me but by the time I pick her up she is having a great time and talks about day care all night. She does have alot of fun and it's more of a school situation than a day care. They have a curriculum and she gets report cards twice a year and they have parent teacher conferences. I am so impressed with this place that I tell everyone I can about it.

She only goes for 5 hours a day so it's not that bad and since she does have so much fun that makes it easier to leave her. If I picked her up and she had been crying or just couldn't wait to leave then I would be worried and it would be alot harder to leave her there.

So to wrap up we are doing well and keeping VERY busy. We have something going on almost every day after work and day care so I apologize if I don't blog much especially with summer coming. I will try but I can't gurantee much.

Asha's Second Year

2008-03-30T20:47:00.006-05:00

I am really loving going through Asha's photo albums and picking out pictures to post. She was just so darn cute and I even watched one of her videos from when she as a baby today and she was hilarious. She has always had this infectious laugh that comes right from her belly. She just makes you smile and she is always such a happy little girl. I could not have asked for a better daughter.

Here is Asha in the spring a few months after her first birthday.

Here she is in the summer. She just changes and grows so fast and so much.

Here she is in the fall/winter. She just thinned out and grew so much. Her photo album is like a flip book you can just see her growing.

Just thought I would share these few photos. I still can't believe it's been 3 years already.

Asha's Birthday Party

2008-03-28T22:00:00.008-05:00

We celebrated Asha's birthday tonight and she had a GREAT time. She loved her cake which I had done at the local grocery store. They did a really good job and it turned out really cute. She wanted her cake before presents so she was very excited about her birthday cake.

It was just a family party and that's the way Asha likes it. She loves her family and any time she gets to spend with us all together just makes her day.

Here are some pictures of her special day:

Here's her Barbie cake she picked out.

She was so proud of her cake!!

It looks like she's dreaming of being a ballerina. It's that or dreaming about how good that cake is going to taste!!LOL

This is the big present her dad and I pitched in to get her. It's called a rainy day combo from the One Step Ahead catalog and it's a combination trapeze bar and swing for inside. It hangs from the doorway.

Here's a picture of the big present. She absolutely loved it. She used the swing more than the trapeze bar but I'm sure the bar will get plenty of use as well.

She really did have a great birthday and didn't want it to end. She was up until almost 10 p.m. playing with all of her new toys and just loving it. It's a good thing it's the weekend because I think she'll want plenty of time to play with all of her new things.

Asha's First Year

2008-03-28T15:20:00.007-05:00

I thought I would post some pictures of baby Asha. I didn't start this blog until she was already older so you never really got to see how cute she was and how small she was as a baby.
This is right after we got her from the hospital. We are in our hotel room just adoring her. The outfit she is wearing is a preemie and she was so tiny in it.

This picture is probably in June or July so only a few months after she was born and she really chunked out. She doubled her weight in 2 months instead of the normal 4 months. Those cheeks got kissed ALOT!!

Once she started to move around more on her own she started to thin out but she is just as cute as ever!! I loved her toothless smile.

I absolutely love this picture of her. I think it was probably taken in October or November. She just grew so fast.

I will also post her second year pictures some time this weekend. I just can't believe how fast the last 3 years has gone by. I can still remember holding this little itty bitty baby and now I can't get her to hold still long enough most days to hold her.

I love her so much and she has been such a blessing in my life!!!

Happy Birthday to Asha!!

2008-03-27T16:49:00.002-05:00

Asha is 3 today. I can't believe that it's been 3 years already since we got the call that she was born. She was so tiny that her carseat looked like it swallowed her up. We had to buy preemie clothes for her and they were still too big. We called her our little Florida Peanut because she was just so small and would tuck her legs up which made her look even smaller.

We had a wonderful day. We went to visit this amazing day care center and she didn't even want to leave which is good since she may be going there starting Monday. Then we picked up her grandma and aunt so they could do lunch at McDonalds with us and then we got Asha her fish. She picked out the most expensive Betta fish there but it's really pretty. He is blue with beautiful fanned out tail/fins and she named him "Nemo". We saw some Nemo fish there that were REALLY expensive and she really wanted them so she named her fish Nemo instead of getting the actual thing.

She is sleeping now on the couch from her busy birthday day. We are going to have her favorite pizza for supper and then her birthday party is tomorrow so I will post pictures then. I got her the cutest birthday outfit.

The time just goes so darn fast.

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T20:53:00.007-05:00

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter. I had kind of a mellow day. I went to church for 10:30 and it was a really nice service. Some of the members played a beautiful song on their violins. It was a little hard though because everyone asked where Asha and my husband were so I did end up telling more people about the divorce. Not alot of people in my town know yet. I was fine though. I didn't cry or even feel sad about it at all. I did miss Asha and wished she was there with me but a few hours later I got to do and pick her up.

Every place we wanted to eat was closed so we ended up finding an IHOP that was open. I met the girlfriend but we didn't talk much. Josh told me about Asha's weekend and I don't have any pictures of her dressed up because starting Saturday she ended up with the runs and ruined every outfit I had packed for her. It was either from the stress of being away from me (they said she asked for me all weekend) or from all the junk he fed her. I felt so bad that my girl was sick and I wasn't there to help her.

I did get a few pictures of her opening her Easter basket/carton here. I found these cute little cartons that I used instead of baskets because the kids really don't need all that candy.

Her favorite thing was the bunny stuffed animal I got her and a little wind up hopping bunny.

Here she is digging all the goodies out of her Easter carton. She was pretty excited by that.

Asha trying to eat a Sweet Tart bunny for the first time. I think she got a tart part. LOL

This one's just because I thought it was cute. I love those Minnie Mouse ears on her.

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter. Ours wasn't anything spectacular but as long as I get to spend it with Asha I am happy.

Light, Happy and Free

2008-03-23T08:48:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter!!

Asha is with her dad this weekend but we are meeting up about an hour from my house to have Easter dinner together at a restaurant. I get to meet his girlfriend today. I'm not really nervous about it at all because I feel sorry for her. All I want is for her to be someone who is good enough to be around my daughter. I don't really have hard feelings about her even though she is part of the reason I am getting divorced. I am happy I'm getting divorced now. I have this wonderful feeling of happiness that I have never felt in my whole entire life. This is the place I have been trying to get to for probably 20 years. It is an amazing feeling and I wish that everyone could be this happy.

I will let you all know how Easter dinner went. I miss my girl terribly but I did get alot done around here yesterday which took my mind off of her. I will try to get some pictures of her all dressed up for Easter to post.

Also her birthday is on Thursday and I got her the cutest outfit. I will post birthday pictures next weekend. I have a couple of big days planned for her.

Happy Easter and I wish everyone the light and happy feeling I have!!

Tagged

2008-03-18T21:26:00.002-05:00

I've been tagged by Kathy. Here it goes....

FOURS

4 jobs I've had

1. Cashier
2. Telemarketer
3. Administrative Assistant
4. Preschool Assistant

4 movies I can watch over and over

1. Steel Magnolias
2. The Lake House
3. Pretty Woman
4. Titanic

4 places I've lived

1. Amherst, WI
2. Stevens Point, WI
3. Arlington, TX
4. Wauwatosa, WI

4 tv shows I watch

1. Big Brother
2. Greys Anatomy
3. Survivor
4. Private Practice

4 people who e-mail me regularly

1. Julie
2. Amy
3. Pep
4. Deb

4 things I like to eat

1. Pasta
2. Chicken Fried Rice
3. Crab Rangoon
4. Bread/Rolls

4 places I have been

1. Alaska
2. Bahamas ( Nassau & Freeport)
3. Bermuda
4. Los Angles, CA

4 places I would rather live

1. Texas
2. Hawaii
3. Australia
4. Bahamas

4 things I look forward to this year

1. Getting my divorce over with
2. Long walks with Asha
3. Watching Asha grow and change
4. Getting settled in a new home

4 people to tag

1. Mindy
2. Angel
3. Michelle
4. Cindy

Those that I tagged can participate if you want.

Asha's Birthfamily

2008-03-17T21:18:00.009-05:00

It was so amazing to be able to see Asha's birthfamily again. There was Mamma D, Asha's sister who just turned 6 and her brother who is 7 1/2. It was like they had never been apart. Asha's brother walked up to her and grabbed her little face and planted a kiss on her forehead. He saw her a few years ago when they came for a visit but her sister hadn't seen her since she was a baby. Asha's sister was very taken with her and followed her all over and we got some great pictures of the girls together.

By the time we got to the park it was already getting dark so I didn't get alot of pictures of Asha with Mamma D and the ones I did get are dark. Plus Asha was being a tease and would come like she was going to take a picture with Mamma D and then she would run away laughing.

It was so sweet when we got there Asha wanted to swing so Mamma D pushed her for probably 15 minutes on the swing and when Asha's sister wanted to push Mamma D told her that there were things adults had to do and she just had to keep pushing Asha. It was so great to see them together.

Asha would call her Mamma D and Mamma D would just beam. I don't think she stopped smiling the whole time we were there. There is this cute little song I made up when Asha was little Asha D baby D Asha D my baby girl well Asha sang it to them that way and then she sang it Mamma D baby D Mamma D my baby girl. It was so darn cute and we all cracked up laughing.

We only got to spend a few hours together but it was worth it.

Here are some pictures.

This was right when we got to the park. We met Asha's birthfamily there and the kids just kind of attacked her. It was so great to watch them. My friend took this one and when she sent it to me I almost melted. It is the sweetest picture ever.A family meal together. It was hard to get the kids to pose for pictures when there was pizza present so we just took every opportunity to get them together so ignore the pizza and look at the beautiful family.

Asha and her sister. My friend Deb couldn't believe how much Asha looked like her sister.

Asha's sister and Mamma D. It was much easier to get pictures of Mamma D and Asha's sister together because her brother was always off playing.

I do have more pictures but they are so dark. I need to work on making them lighter. I am just so happy that I got the ones that I got. I can't wait to print them and frame them in Asha's room.

We are so lucky that we got to spend time with them and that Asha got to see them again.

Florida Was GREAT!!

2008-03-16T22:18:00.016-05:00

We had the best time in Florida. It was the best vacation I have ever taken and I've taken alot. It was so relaxing and it was so nice to be able to enjoy Asha having so much fun.

I was so worried that I would never be able to afford to take her someplace like Disney World so I owe ALOT to my wonderful friend Deb who took us with her. She was so amazing to ask us to go and then to make a special stop on the way home so Asha could see her birthfamily was above and beyond. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful friend.

Asha and Deb's son Caleb had such an amazing time together. I think my daughter is in love. She kept trying to hold his hand and giving him LOTS of hugs. He wasn't too pleased about that but it was so cute. The resort we stayed at had a gift shop and they had bride and groom Mickey ears and we thought about putting them on the kids and taking pictures but we never did. It would be a cute picture for their wedding invitations. LOL

Our resort was wonderful and had multiple pools, a kiddy pool and an area where the water would shoot up from the ground and the kids could run through it. Asha's not real big on water but she really had fun in the kiddy pool and in the water spouts.

Disney World was amazing and Asha had so much fun meeting all the characters. I was worried she wouldn't want to go by them but she sat and had her picture taken with everyone we met. I bought her an autograph book that has a space for the picture you take next to the autograph so I can't wait to get the pictures developed. She almost filled the whole book with autographs.

She went on alot of rides and did great on all of them and we just had an amazing vacation. She held up really well with all the driving we did and even with all the standing in line for rides and autographs. I am so happy we went and I will definately remember it forever. It truly was one of the BEST vacations I have ever taken. I've never been able to relax on vacation so it was such a nice thing to be able to do.

Ok here are the pictures I'm sure you are all waiting for.

This statue was at Downtown Disney in front of one of the gift stores. I figured if she wouldn't stand in front of the real Aurora then atleast I would have this picture.

This was also at Downtown Disney. They had a whole area where things were made out of legos and the kids could play with legos. If you look closely this whole family is made out of legos.Here is Asha and Jasmine. Asha was so shy but it was so cute to see her with Jasmine.It took us an hour and a half to see Minnie. It was the longest wait we had but atleast we got to go through Minnie's house on the way to see Minnie.Here is Asha standing in front of Minnie's fireplace. It was really neat and interactive in Minnie's house.A nice couple offered to take a picture of me and Asha while waiting for our friends to get off of a ride. Asha is eating popcorn. She ate a whole bucket of popcorn by herself. This is my absolute favorite picture of Asha. This was at the resort after we got done swimming and it just turned out so darn cute!!Asha absolutely loved these Minnie ears. Dakota gave me some money to buy something for Asha from him so I got her these ears from brother. She has not really taken them off since she got them.

This is Caleb and Asha. The pirate and the princess. He was trying to be mean looking like a pirate. They are just so darn cute together.

I am going to do a seperate post of our visit with Asha's birthfamily and those pictures. I really wish we could have spent more time with them but I am so greatful for the few hours we did have. It was so wonderful to see Asha with her birthfamily. It was like they have always been around eachother it was just so natural for all of them.

Asha Pictures

2008-03-06T10:21:00.003-06:00

Here are a few pictures I've taken of Asha this week. I've been pretty busy with packing and organizing for the Florida trip so I haven't been taking too many. Trying to save memory and battery life for Florida. I will get LOTS of pictures there to share with all of you.

Ok blogger won't let me add pictures right now so I will do it later.

Someone on a previous post had commented about Asha's hair and who taught me. No one taught me I just joined some yahoo adoption groups of other people who had AA children and looked at their pictures and went from there. I also get ideas from tv and I just practice and practice on her little head until it looks like it should. There are also a few websites that show you how to do some stuff. I will post the websites on her at a later time.

I need to get going otherwise I would do it right now. When I post the pictures later I will post the websites.

I finally got blogger to work. This is Asha's latest hairstyle. I just love her with bangs but unfortunately her hair is getting too long to do it much longer. It doesn't seem to bother her much though.

She loves her sunglasses and usually wears them one of 3 ways. Either on her chin, on her forehead or upside down but very rarely the right way.

Hope everyone has a GREAT week and I will post Florida pictures when I get home!!

Happy Birthday To Me & I'm Sorry!!

2008-03-05T18:07:00.004-06:00

Sorry for the bummer post last Friday. I was feeling lonely but I am back to being happy. I just have my moments and it helps to blog about it.

I actually feel VERY blessed. I wasn't expecting my birthday to be much of anything this year since my husband was the one to always do something for me but it is turning out to be a really good few days. My birthday is on Saturday but Friday I am taking my stepson Dakota and Asha out to eat with me to my favorite Chinese restaurant with birthday cake after at my in-laws house plus I have a job interview that day. Then on Saturday on my actual birthday I am going to meet up with the friend that we are going to Florida with and she got us tickets to the play her husband is in and we are going out to eat prior to the play and then OF COURSE don't forget that I get to spend a week in Florida!!!!!!!

This is looking to be my best birthday EVER!! So when I get down and do posts like I did on Friday it's just a moment I'm having and thankfully I can get back to being happy and enjoying Asha because I really am blessed!!!

I will post pictures of Asha later tonight this is of course her blog!! LOL

Weekends Are Hard!!

2008-02-29T16:25:00.002-06:00

Weekends are so hard for me. That was always the time for planning family things to do and now it's just me and Asha. It is really very sad for me and I can't wait for the week to start. I spend all week alone with her and I always looked forward to my husband coming home and having adult conversation.

Friday used to be my favorite day of the week and now I dread it. It's so easy to keep busy during the week but the weekends everyone has family things to do. I feel so lonely. I miss the family time and just doing things with my family even if it was watching a movie atleast we were together. I never had a real good family growing up and we didn't do family things very often so I cherished our family time together.

I loved to watch my husband sleep on the couch while the football game was on, I loved making special treats for him and Dakota, I even loved folding his laundry. There are so many things I miss about having a family.

I hope you are all cherishing yours this weekend because I miss mine.

Mamma D

2008-02-25T16:43:00.002-06:00

Well Mamma D e-mailed me back and she is being so wonderful about the whole divorce thing. She said there is no need to apologize, which I did alot of, because she knows we didn't intend on this happening when we adopted Asha. She still loves us all and knows that we will be good parents to Asha. She is so wonderful and so understanding. She said she's not mad at us and that she has no reason to be mad. She said she was confused at first and didn't see it coming. Well no one did including me so I'm happy that I wasn't the only one in the dark.

I also have been e-mailing back and forth with her discussing stopping and seeing her and the kids on our way back from Orlando. My wonderful friend said it was no problem to stop and see them and she's actually excited to meet Mamma D. I hope we can make it all work out and meet at a park so the kids can play and we can visit for a few hours. I wish we had more time than a few hours but we all need to get home too. We will be gone for a week and my cat will need me and my friend's family will definately need her. I think by then Asha will be ready for home too.

On the moving front I still have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not having any luck finding a job in either places or a place to live down by my friend. I'm just scared and don't want to uproot Asha and then mess up or fail and take her with me. I really like where we live but I'm not having any luck finding a job here and it's 3 to 3 1/2 hours from where Asha's dad is moving so that makes it harder on everyone when it comes to visitation. I want all of this to affect Asha as little as possible so if we stay here she has to travel every other weekend 6 to 7 hours. All because her dad moved so far away. I am trying to put my faith in God and let him lead me where I need to go but I am a planner and I'm having a hard time Letting Go and Letting God. I need my life to be settled for my sake and Asha's.

I appreciate everyone's prayers and thoughts. You are all so wonderful to care about me and Asha.

Florida Here We Come!!

2008-02-22T11:21:00.002-06:00

I'm soooooooooooooooooo excited!!! A friend of mine has a daughter who auditioned to work at Disney World as one of the characters and she got hired. They are moving her down in a few weeks and have invited Asha and I to come with. My friend doesn't want to drive down by herself since her daughter will be in her own car and my friend is taking her son with who is Asha's age so they can play together. It is going to be sooooooooo much fun!! We get to go to Disney World!!!!!!!!!! I haven't been there since I was probably 9 or 10 I think.

March looks like it's going to be a great month!! I will make sure that I take LOTS of pictures and I will definately share them.

I haven't talked to my friend yet but I am hoping that on the way home we can stop and see Asha's birthmom if at all possible. Just a few hours to spend with her would be nice and for her to see Asha as well.

I just had to share the good news for the day!!!!!

Gymnastics and Other Stuff

2008-02-20T22:58:00.007-06:00

Asha and I are doing good. I am throwing around the idea of moving. We will still be in WI but moving a few hours away. A friend of mine really wants me to move down by her and it would take me closer to where I was born and my family so I am really thinking about it. It would also put Asha closer to more African American children which she doesn't have much of in our small town.

I must brag about my girl. She is AMAZING at gymnastics. I wish you all could watch her because she amazes her coach who has been doing this for probably over 10 years. She learned how to do a forward roll after only being shown twice, she did so well on the balance beam that they put down bean bags for her to practice stepping over and she did so well on that that they had her jumping over the bean bags and she didn't even fall off. They couldn't believe her balance. They also raised the bar so she could practice jumping up and flipping since she was doing so well just flipping.

Here she is before class starts just running around and being silly. She likes to copy the older girls who have a class the same time she does.

Here she is supposed to practicing keeping her legs straight. She loves the bars.

Asha is doing pretty well potty training now. She is a stinker though and won't go poo on the potty. She will literally get up off the potty and put her pullup back on and go in it so she knows when she has to go but will not do it in the potty. Any suggestions???

Here are some more pictures of my girl!! Gosh I do love her!!

Another fashion statement from my girl. She really does come up with some interesting outfits.

I love this picture. I got it tonight when she was laying on the couch by me. My camera loves her too.

I love this outfit on her. I had it on her today so I had to snap a picture. I got the shawl for a really good deal. I just couldn't pass it up. She just looks so good in it.

I will try to be better about updating more often. If I am moving though it may be a while because I will need to pack and there is ALOT to pack. I will keep you all updated though on how we are doing and when/if we are moving. THANKS for being supportive of us and offering prayers.

Doing Pretty Good!!

2008-02-14T16:18:00.006-06:00

This has been a pretty good week for me. I'm doing better than I thought I would be and I'm really enjoying the time alone with Asha. It's nice to be able to come and go as I please and not have to worry about anyone but me and Asha. I am actually enjoying the freedom I have. I can decorate the house any way I want, I can make what I want for supper, I can watch what I want to watch on tv and the house stays clean alot longer with just the 2 of us. It really has been nice around here this week.

Here are some pictures I've taken of Asha in the last week.

Asha loves to wear her sunglasses on her head. I don't know where she got this from because we don't do that with our glasses.

I love this coy little look she is giving me. She has started to run from me when I get the camera out and when I do actually catch her she tends to give me alot of coy looks.

Here's another look she likes to give me now. She really had lots of fun outside. It took her a while to come out of the garage and play but once she did she didn't want to go back inside.

She is definately my outdoors girl. She loves to be outside and I can't wait for Spring/Summer to roll around so we can go walking again.

Your thoughts and prayers are all so appreciated. I didn't mean for Asha's blog to get depressing but we are doing good and really enjoying eachother. We've actually been staying VERY busy which helps too.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

Thank You!!

2008-02-10T21:11:00.000-06:00

I just want to thank you all for the well wishes and the encouragement. I'm actually ALOT better than I was a month ago. Don't get me wrong it is still VERY hard but I'm not an emotional mess like I was. This weekend was hard because Asha spent the night at her dad's house. I was supposed to go out with some friends but the weather got too bad and I didn't want to drive in it so I was all alone at home. I did better than I thought I would but I really missed my little girl.

It was so good to see her when she got home today and she gave me the biggest cuddle/hug. She was very clingy all night and we cuddled on the couch more than normal. She sat with me for atleast an hour and she is a very busy girl and doesn't usually sit that much. She kept asking where her new house was and I had to tell her that this is our house and daddy and brother have a new house that she gets to go and visit.

It's so hard to have to tell that sweet little face such sad news. I never want to make her sad but she does miss her dad and brother and there's nothing I can do about it. She is confused and I know this week is going to be hard on her because she's never gone such a long time without seeing her brother. She is going to be waiting for him to come home from school every day like normal but he's never going to come home. She probably won't see him again now until Friday when I pick him up for an over nighter.

She's already regressed a little in her potty training. She didn't go at all at Josh's house and after he brought her home it took me probably 2 hours to get her to sit on her potty. It just may be too much for her right now which is a shame because she was doing so well this week.

I am trying to hold it together for her. I don't want her to see me cry anymore and to be sad. I am trying to just go day by day and enjoy her.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers they are GREATLY appreciated.

Divorce

2008-02-08T10:38:00.000-06:00

Well the title says it all. This is why I've been asking for prayers. I found out on Christmas Eve that my husband was cheating on me and that he wanted a seperation. For the last month it has just gotten worse and worse between us and we are now getting a divorce.

The last few days since he's told me he's moving out this weekend we've been getting along better and actually talking about things but divorce is the last thing I want. He does not share my same feelings and no matter what is going to divorce me. I don't think that divorce is right and we could have worked it out in marriage counseling but he did not want to try and there is nothing I can do about that.

I am trying to move on with my life for me and Asha. The hardest part about this all is the promise that is getting broken to Asha's birthmother. She trusted us to give Asha a good stable home and now we have failed her. I am going to do my best to give Asha a good stable home but if her birthmother wanted her to be raised by a single mother she would have kept her.

I am feeling terribly guilty about it even though it's not my fault. I am not the one who cheated and is walking away from my family but I just feel so bad for what it might do to Asha's birthmother. I do feel she has a right to know especially since we are so close. She is like the sister I never had. I just don't ever want her to doubt her decision to place Asha with us.

It's been a really hard month and I'm hoping once my husband and Dakota are moved out that I will be able to move on and be strong for Asha.

Thank you all for your prayers and please keep them coming because I need to find a job to help support Asha and I and I'm sure I will still have hard days. I could use all the prayers and good thoughts I can get.

Still Rough Around Here

2008-02-01T08:35:00.000-06:00

Life has not improved much in the last month. It's been really hard around here especially in the last week. I am hanging in there but it's just going to get worse. I'm sure you are all wondering what is going on but I just can't say right now. There are people who can't know yet and I don't know who all really reads my blog. Just know that I still need your continued prayers for my life to take a turn for the better because most days it's been pretty unbearable. Also please pray for the kids because this is really going to affect them and probably not very well. There little lives are about to get turned upside down and I'm doing everything I can to stop it but I don't think I'm going to be successful.

Well on a happier note here are some pictures of Asha from the last few weeks.

Here she is all bundeld up to go sledding. She loved sledding and laughed and screamed all the way down.

Close up of my girl all bundled up. She is just so darn cute!!

Here is Asha's latest fashion statement. We are still trying to potty train and I thought undies would help convince her to go on the potty so she is wearing her winter boots with her undies. She is sooo silly.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, keep them coming.

Nearly Scared Me To Death!!

2008-01-21T21:09:00.001-06:00

I lost Asha today. That is the scariest feeling in the world. I was cleaning the kitchen and realized that it was just way too quiet. You mom's know what that means, the kids are doing something they aren't supposed to be doing. So I go searching the house for her and can't find her anywhere. Her new favorite thing to do is go and play downstairs so I am constantly going up and down the stairs to check on her. I checked everywhere even places I know she won't go. She isn't answering me (she's been kind of sassy lately) and I start to freak out. I finally go back into my bedroom and hear her giggling. I thought she was hiding in a corner or something. Nope she is under my bed with her flashlight playing and watching the light.

Crazy kid. I had to laugh but wow did that take a few years off of my life.

Pictures!

2008-01-21T08:09:00.000-06:00

I'm just hanging in there right now so all I have the energy for is pictures. My life is pretty rough and stressful right now and I really do appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. I don't see my life getting any better any time soon so pictures may be all you get for a while. I'm sure that's all you come here for anyway. I don't blame you my girl is beautiful. :)

They just love eachother so much. I could post a million pictures like this because they are always together.Dakota took this one with his camera at gymnastics. He really does love his sister ALOT!! He did a really good job too. You'll have to forgive the very ugly couch and just concentrate on the pretty little girl sitting on it.

Still trying to potty train and apparently this is what she thinks it's for. No actually she does sit on it just won't go on it. She gets up right before she has to go and pees on the floor. I just don't know what to do about that.

I don't know if you can really see it but I love her hair like this. It's called a twist out and only lasts one day. This happens when I take her twists out (hence the term twist out) and she gets these wavy kind of curls in her hair.

I know you are all probably curious as to what's been going on at home and someday I will share with you but I just can't right now. It's painful and just hurts too bad to talk about most days. I'm also not real sure who reads this blog and there are people we don't want to know right now. Someday I will share but it may not be for a while. Until then please keep praying for me and my family because we REALLY do need it especially in the coming months. THANKS!!

Gymnastics

2008-01-15T21:01:00.000-06:00

Asha has started the first session of the year for gymnastics and she is doing so well again. This class only has one other little girl Asha's age so they get alot of attention and the two girls get along really well too. Asha is just catching on to things so fast this time around and keeps amazing me and her coach. She has so much fun and enjoys it so much that I am happy we put her in it. With everything that's going on I hope we can continue to take her to her classes.

Here are some pictures of her from class tonight. Since my husband bought me the new camera I get some great pictures of her in class now.She had just realized I was standing there taking pictures of her. Silly girl.

This is her concentrating very hard on not falling off the balance beam. This beam is a little ways off the ground and she was the only one to make it all the way down the beam. This is her stretching before class. They let the kids run around for a while before class begins and there is a class of older kids at the same time as Asha so she likes to copy the older kids. Here she is on the lower balance beam. This one she just glides across with no help at all.

I am just so proud of her. She is getting to be so big. She is going to be 3 in a few months and I just don't know where the last 3 years have gone. Where is my little pudgy baby who used to cuddle with me?

Thanks again ladies for all of your well wishes and prayers. I can still use them so I appreciate them all.

Still Here

2008-01-08T21:09:00.000-06:00

I'm still here just haven't been up to blogging. I am still dealing with alot of tough stuff at home but thought I would come on and post some pictures from the last month or so. I see that alot of people have been checking the blog and I don't want to abandon anyone so here are some pictures of my girl.

My husband bought me a new camera and I love the quality of the pictures. Here's Asha and her friend Minta opening their Christmas presents from eachother. They are just so darn cute together. When they hug they both do the lean instead of wrapping their arms around eachother so it always looks so funny.Here is Asha on Christmas Eve. She really made out in the present area like usual. She wanted every present completely open and out of the boxes before she would move on to the next gift. She did really well this year though and had alot of fun.

This is how Asha celebrated New Years Eve. We went to my in laws house and they had Asha's cousin and another little girl there for her to play with so she had a blast. She spent alot of time on this horse and it was so cute because she was wearing he cowgirl boots too.

I will try to get back to blogging more it just depends on how I'm doing from day to day. Life is pretty hard right now and I am trying to take it minute by minute when most days I just want to curl up and sleep my life away.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!!

Serious Stuff

2008-01-01T21:04:00.000-06:00

I'm going through some tough times right now and may not be blogging as much. If it seems to help or is theraputic I may do it but right now it is taking everything in me to breath and make it through the day so I probably will not be blogging much in the next few weeks at least.

Sorry to all of you who love to read about Asha and her antics but I really need some me time right now and I need to figure out where my life is headed.

I hope I don't loose you all so check back some time later this month to see if I'm back.

THANKS!!

Brother And Sister!!

2007-12-18T20:46:00.000-06:00

I am an only child so I have no idea what it's like to have siblings, but it really warms my heart to see Asha and her brother get along so well. I've seen sibling relationships that are horrible and have heard so many horror stories that I really hope Asha and Dakota can skip past all of that.

These pictures were from tonight. Dakota was playing cards at the table and Asha was "helping" and he didn't get mad or anything. He is so patient with her and shows her so much love. There are so many times he should have lost his cool with her but he never does.

She asks at least once during the day where her brother is and knows as soon as he opens the door that it's him coming home from school. She runs up and says hi. Yesterday she even said "I'm so happy your here". He was so happy and so shocked that those big girl words came out of her mouth. He had to come and tell me and he was beaming with love.

They both just make my heart burst with love.

Saint Nick and Snow

2007-12-13T11:03:00.000-06:00

We celebrate Saint Nicolaus Day on December 6th. Some people do and some people don't but that was one tradition I had as a child so we have carried it along for our children. Asha of course loves it because she gets her VERY big stocking full of treats and toys.

She would pull one thing out and want to play with it or eat it and I had to keep encouraging her to dig deeper. We did mostly toys this year instead of candy since we have been doing Santa Mail with them and they get candy in there. Santa Mail is a mailbox with Santa painted on the side that I had picked up at a store and we use that to count down the 25 days until Christmas. I buy little toys and candy and put it in each of their mail pouches and then they check it every day. They then put a sticker on a calendar I made for the month of December. They really love it alot.

Here is Asha with some of her loot. She really made out pretty well. She got jewelry, books, a butterfly lantern and some candy.

I also wanted to share the funniest thing about her and snow. Like I've said she doesn't like snow at all so her new thing is to ask me at least once a day "Where's the grass?" I think that is her way of saying she really wants the snow to go away. We keep telling her it's under the snow and all she says is "oh" but she sounds so sad when she says it. I think it's going to be a long winter for her if we can't get her interested in playing in the snow.

Hope everyone is prepared for Christmas because it is coming FAST!!

Decorating Is So Much Fun!!

2007-12-03T09:43:00.000-06:00

We had a busy weekend cutting down our Christmas tree and decorating it and the house. It's our tradition that we cut our own tree down and Dakota has been doing it all by himself for the last few years. Asha wasn't real impressed and didn't really like the snow on her face. She is pretty smart though and has figured out that her hat is big enough that she can pull it over her face and the snow won't get her then.

She didn't help much in the tree picking out department with her hat over her face. It's nice that she does this though because she hates scarves so atleast there's something covering her face that doesn't bother her.

Sunday we decorated the tree and the house. She did really well and loved putting the ornaments on. She took over the step stool and put as many ornaments on as she could. We weren't too bright though because we put bell ornaments on and now she won't leave them alone. She doesn't take them off but she walks around the tree and hits everyone that she can reach. It's cute and as long as she doesn't take them off I'm fine with it.

The big test will be when there are presents under the tree and if she'll leave them alone. She LOVES presents and thinks it's someone's birthday when she sees them. I hope she leaves them alone because I have no where to hide anymore presents.

It has been so much fun now that she is older and can help out more. I can't wait for Christmas!!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-26T22:50:00.000-06:00

Sorry this is a little late but we hosted Thanksgiving so I was pretty busy getting everything bought and then made. It was one of the best Thanksgivings we've ever had. Asha loved the food and it was just really nice family time. Asha loves having family over and just kept going around the table saying everyone's names like wow they are all here!! It was so cute!!

Here's a few pictures from that day!!
I love this picture of Asha with her daddy. It was so nice that we got to relax more and spend some quality family time together.

I just love this little face. I think this is the picture I'm going to send out in Christmas cards.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

She Lives Her Life Upside Down!!

2007-11-17T16:29:00.001-06:00

My girl must think she's a bat or something. She literally lives her life upside down. She hangs upside down from our bed she hangs over the back of the couch upside down and she hangs over our legs when we have them on the coffee table. She loves to be upside down and here are some pictures to prove how much. This is her new favorite thing to do!

She looks like a little bat just hanging there. I hope our counter holds up!!

Curious About Lurkers!!

2007-11-15T21:36:00.000-06:00

Now that I have the Site Meter I've realized that more people are reading this blog than I thought because not many people post.

I would just like for any lurker to please post and let me know where your from (if you don't mind) and why you like to read Asha's blog. Also if there are any questions you may have about adoption or our adoption situation feel free to ask and I will try to answer all questions.

Thanks!!

Amazing!!

2007-11-13T11:57:00.001-06:00

We just got home from the doctor. I took Asha to get her flu shot and the nurses were so amazed by her they loaded her up with stickers when it was all done.

One nurse held her hands and the other nurse was going to give her the shot. When the second nurse stuck the needle in Asha's arm Asha just looked at it and then with her right hand grabed the needle out of her arm handed it to the nurse and said "ok done". It freaked the nurses out that she was so fast and so strong that she could pull away from the nurse holding her and grab the needle away from the other nurse. Asha didn't cry, didn't flinch or anything.

Asha is VERY tough and it takes alot to make her cry but I thought for sure she would cry a little. I am so very impressed by her right now. You wouldn't even know that she got a shot at all today. What a big girl she is!!

My Girl Is So Funny!!

2007-11-09T11:48:00.001-06:00

Asha amazes me every day with some of the things she says.

Last night we were in the van coming home from grocery shopping and she was kind of yelling "aaahhhhhhhh" and I said in an exasperated tone "Asha D!!" and she says "What I'm right here". Dakota and I just cracked up laughing.

I tend to call her "Boo" or "Bug" shortened versions of bugaboo. Well she thinks I call her "pooh" like from Tigger and Pooh so she has taken to calling people "pooh". One day she walks up to her dad and says "hi piglet". He started laughing and asked why she was calling him piglet so I explained.

She is also very considerate. She will walk up to me when I'm doing my household chores and ask me "You need help?" Sometimes I let her help if it's easy and she is more than happy to pitch in.

And apparently to her when I fold laundry it just looks like I throw clothes around. She likes to help with laundry so she will help pull it out of the dryer and then she pushes it to the spot in the living room where I sit and fold clothes and she will sit in my spot and start throwing clothes all over the place. It is the funniest thing to watch.

Here she is sitting in her favorite position from gymnastics. They call it the butterfly because the move their knees up and down like a butterfly.

Tagged

2007-11-07T09:22:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by skyangel from Faith, Hope and Love. Listed on the side.

Rules: Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged.

1. I have an incredible 6th sense about things. I knew in High School that I would adopt a child before I even found out that I was unable to have children. I tend to know when really bad things are going to happen. Sometimes I can even sense when certain people are going to call me.

2. I love to read. I used to like scary stories like Stephen King & Dean Koontz but now I'm into more love stories and stories about the Amish. We used to have alot of Amish around our town and they always fascinated me. I am now re reading the Twilight series and can't wait for the 4th book to come out next year.

3. I still live in the small town that I grew up in. It is an amazing town with an amazing school system that I want my kids to enjoy.

4. I helped gain custody of my step son when he was 3 years old. I've been in his life since he was 8 months old. I married my husband a few weeks shy of dating for a year. We got married at 20 years old and have been married for 10 years.

5. I am indecisive. I can almost always see both sides of a situation so it makes it very hard for me to take sides or even make a choice. It drives my husband nuts.

6. I love babies. I mean I REALLY love babies. When I was in High School working at a local grocery store I would go over and pinch the cheeks of all the cute little babies in line. I just couldn't help myself. I love those soft little squishy cheeks. My poor Asha gets hers kissed and played with daily.

7. I have always had friends who were older than me or friends that were guys. I always bonded more with guys than girls because there is too much drama and gossip with girls. When we got married I wanted my maid of honor to be a guy because I didn't have any girlfriends to ask. I have always gotten along better with woman who were older than me since I spent alot of time around my mom's friends growing up. I was always more mature than other people my age.

8. I don't like talking about myself that's why this blog is about my daughter. Finding 8 things to say about myself was very hard for me. I kept coming up with things about Asha and having to erase them.

I will now tag 8 other people if they haven't been tagged yet. I am tagging Adventures in Mommyland, Away 2 Me, Peps Thoughtful Spot, Kathy's Korner, Doubly Blessed, & Minnow Musings. I know it's not 8 but everyone else I read has already been tagged.

Halloween 2007

2007-10-30T20:15:00.001-05:00

This is the best picture I have of Asha in her costume. She was a biker girl. She did not like trick or treating at all. She wanted every piece of candy opened immediately and when we would not comply she would throw a fit all the way to the next house. Once she did finally realize that there was more candy to come she was better well atleast until we came to the house of the mean man wearing a scary mask. After that she was done. She would not go up to anymore houses unless daddy or mommy carried her. Brother wasn't a good enough protector from the evil I guess. We would not have minded carrying her except those cute little pants she's wearing were flaking terribly bad and anyone who touched her got covered in head to toe fake leather flakes. I regret even buying them off of ebay and we threw them away before we would even let her in the house.

She did however really like handing out candy once we got home. She was not afraid of the kids in costumes and would even greet them by their costume "hi demon!!" "hi pirate!!" and so on. She even started handing out candy for us and would chase the kids down when they attempted to leave because she wanted to give them more candy.

One of Asha's friends stopped over to trick or treat as well. They are just so darn cute together. They were both giving us a run for our money. One would run one way and the other would run the other way. It's fun though to see them interact with eachother.

My husband took 2 really cute pictures of her while we were waiting for trick or treaters that I just want to share.

It was a fun day after we got home. It was just a rough time getting to the fun part.

Hope everyone had a fun Halloween!!!

Mamma D's Birthday

2007-10-26T16:05:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Mamma D's birthday so I thought it would be cute to take a picture of Asha with a sign wishing her Mamma D a Happy Birthday and then sending it to her through a slideshow on Smilebox. We also sent her a small rose bush in a pot.

I am sooo happy that I found Smilebox because now Mamma D is using it to send us pictures as well. It is so nice to be able to show Asha pictures of her brother and sister.

We've been pretty busy around here so I haven't been blogging much. I will hopefully have some cute Halloween pictures to post next week for everyone to see.

Here's just a few other pictures I thought were cute that I've taken in the last week.

This is Asha at her brother's band concert. I had to take her out because Grandma told her no right when brother's band was going to start playing and she started to cry so loud that everyone was staring at us. I was sooo embarrassed.

I just love the color red on her. It is definately her color!!

Fall Fun Fest

2007-10-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

The local Community Center had it's first Fall Fun Fest and we took Asha. There wasn't a whole lot going on when we got there but we did get her face painted and had some good hot apple cider. They also had cute homemade hats there that daddy just had to buy her. He is such a sucker when it comes to his little girl. He spoils her so much but I love to see it!!

Well here's what you really want to see..... pictures!!

She just gets so darn serious sometimes. She didn't crack a smile the whole time she was getting her face painted. She barely moved. The finished product. She loves stars.The Community Center is right next to the school so we took her over to the playground and let her play for a while. I just love this picture so much!!This has nothing to do with the Fall Fun Fest but she was wearing these ears the other day saying "sassy bunny". I always ask if she's being sassy if she's in a mood. That apparently is her new favorite word because now everyone is "sassy".This is the new hairstyle I gave her on Sunday. I did this once before but with pink yarn so you couldn't really see it but WOW can you see it with the red. My girl looks like a red head.

Pumpkin Hunting!!

2007-10-06T21:40:00.000-05:00

We took the kids to the pumpkin patch for the very first time today and we all had a great time. We did the corn maze and got lost. We never did find the exit so we went back out through the entrance.

After that we went for a horse drawn wagon ride to get our pumpkins. Asha took a very long time trying to find the "right" pumpkin. We would show her one and she would come over by us and we would say "do you want to take this one home?" and she would say "no" and walk away. We did this for a while and she finally found a winner.

Here are the pictures of her adventure in pumpkin hunting.

This is Asha studying the pumpkin before giving her "no" vote on taking it home. She took choosing her pumpkin very seriously. This pumpkin was the winner. A perfect little pumpkin for the perfect little girl. Notice the serious face. Pumpkin hunting is a very serious thing.It was hard work looking for and carrying that pumpkin. LOL She needed to rest so big brother got her a wagon and pulled her around. Doesn't she look exhausted?? LOLFinally home with the winning pumpkin. She was very iffy about letting us put her pumpkin on the front porch after all the hard work she did getting it.

In case any of you noticed that HUGE pumpkin in the wagon that is Dakota's pumpkin that he worked very hard at finding. It was so heavy it didn't even register on the scales. It was 30 + pounds and only cost us $5. He was very proud of himself for finding what he thinks is the biggest pumpkin they had. Here's a picture of him trying to carry it back to the wagon.We can't wait to see him carve it out tomorrow!! That should be a good show!

We also decorated Halloween cookies tonight and I will post pictures probably tomorrow. It was Asha's first time and she made a pretty big mess but had so much fun!!

Camera Please!!

2007-10-03T21:15:00.001-05:00

There is a cute little story that goes along with this picture.

I was leaning on the counter in our kitchen making out my step son's chore list and Asha climbed up on the stool across the counter from me and sat down all nice and pretty like and says to me "mom please get the camera" I start to laugh and ask her "why?" She says again "please get the camera" so I get the camera and she gives me the above face and says "cheeeeese". It was just too funny.

Like I've said the girl knows how to get what she wants.

She also had gymnastics again on Tuesday and was doing he dare devil gymnastics on the bars there and the coach at the end of practice was telling me how very very strong Asha is. I told her that she does all of the tricks on the bars at home on our bed. The coach was very amazed at how strong Asha is. Another mother there said she could see why we put Asha in gymnastics.

Asha's New House!!

2007-10-01T20:31:00.000-05:00

My husband is the luckiest person in the world. Alot of the work he does is in fields that people don't regularly travel in and he came across a child's play cabin completely put together in the middle of one such field. The closest thing to it was the highway. He thinks that it must have blown off of someone's truck and landed in the field. Of course being the daddy that he is he took it apart and brought it home for his little girl who was instantly in love with her new house.

Here are some pictures of her enjoying her new house.
Daddy took this picture and did a really good job. I was really impressed with the pictures he took. Normally I'm the one behind the camera doing the picture taking.

She was just so excited. Can't you just see it in her face. She was beyond herself with joy.

Here she is peaking out of the roof daddy made for her. The roof that was on it was just a mesh thing that was beyond gross so he threw it away.

When asked if she wanted to go back upstairs she said "NO" and ran back in her house to play some more. We've been spending alot of time her not yet complete play room since the house arrived.

Hanging Around

2007-09-28T20:07:00.000-05:00

This is Asha's favorite past time and it drives me crazy. It doesn't help that Big Brother thinks it's hilarious and helps her do it. This was yesterday. She piles the pillows from our bed up so she can reach the bar that goes over our bed. She just loves to hang and swing there at least until today.

This is what we caught her doing today. She didn't need much encouragement from brother either. She just needed his help to hang on to the bar and she did the rest. Big Brother is very impressed by little sis if you can't tell. His opinion is that she needs to play football because she's so strong. My opinion is that she'll be good at gymnastics if she keeps practicing as much as she does at home.

That's my little dare devil gymnast!!

Finally Pictures!!

2007-09-23T20:16:00.000-05:00

I haven't taken or posted any pictures because Asha has been sick and just not up to having her picture taken. Sitting and watching football in the cold just didn't agree with her and she ended up with a cold.

So here are the pictures I've taken this weekend.

I just thought this picture was really cute!! I don't think I've ever taken an open mouth smile picture like this before and I love it!!

This is Asha and her papa at Dakota's football game last night. I think she was the warmest person there. You know it's Fall when you have to dress like it's winter to go to a football game. Atleast in WI that's how it works.

Ok these next pictures I absolutely love!!! These pictures will show why I enrolled Asha for gymnastics.

She was trying to open our bedroom door and thought this was the correct way to do it. Once she started she had so much fun she kept doing this all day.

Eventually we had to make her stop because I think she made the door handle loose.

So as you can see I really mean that the girl hangs on everything. Nothing is safe in our house from her hanging on it not even door handles. LOL

Family Cook Book

2007-09-19T09:18:00.001-05:00

I've revamped my idea for the Family Recipe Box after I got my Family Fun Magazine in the mail. I'm going to do a Cook Book instead of recipe boxes for the kids.

I don't know if any of you get the Family Fun Magazine but there was a section in there pretty much talking about what I wanted to do and they had a website where you could get a template/layout for recipe cards but they were full pages instead of small cards. The website is www.smilebox.com . The templates/layouts show up as a postcard that you can type on but when you download the template/layout/postcard it gives you the option to print once you have all your information on it. The thing I like best is that you can add pictures to the recipe card so you can have a picture of who the recipe was passed down from or who's favorite recipe it is.

Then when you print them out you just put them in a binder that maybe the kids could decorate. I think that would be pretty cool when they grow up to see their art work on the cook book and their kids would probably think it was cool too when it's passed down to them. A binder would probably last longer than a recipe box anyway and keep everything together better.

Just thought I would pass on the revamped idea if anyone is interested.

How Do You Know When.....

2007-09-18T09:48:00.000-05:00

YOUR ADDICTED TO EBAY???

I guess when your walking down the hall with the box dropped off from the Fed Ex guy and your daughter yells "Asha's Got Mail!!" because you've ordered her soooo many things from ebay.

I innocently started looking on ebay for leotards for Asha for her gymnastics class and once I discovered all the cute clothes out there for her I just can't help myself. I am a bidding maniac.

She does have cute clothes though so I guess it's worth it right? wink wink

Family Recipe Box

2007-09-16T08:47:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure if I blogged about this before or not and I don't feel like looking so if I have consider this a post for all of my new readers.

A friend of mine gave me a great keepsake idea for my kids. The conversation started with me telling her about Mamma D wishing she had some kind of family heirloom that she could pass down to Asha. The idea is a family recipe box. She saw it on a tv show and what you do is take a recipe card or stationary and write the recipes that mean something to you or people in your family. You can put the story of the recipe and who/where it came from on the back along with a picture of the person the recipe originated with or who passed it down. I thought this was just amazing seeing how Mamma D is part Jamaican and would have some amazing Jamaican recipes for Asha. I told her about the idea and she really liked it but like I said in my previous post she is extremely busy and I don't know when she will get around to passing down her recipes. I am really excited about it though and excited to make Asha's recipe box.

I think it will mean alot to her to see that her birthmom put something like that together for her and to see other people in her birthmom's family and to know a little bit of their history.

I thought I would share with all of you and maybe start something that our kids would find very special some day.

Mamma D

2007-09-15T09:18:00.000-05:00

Well I got an e-mail from Mamma D today and she is fine. She had a really rough month and hadn't checked her e-mail since some time in August she said.

She had gotten sick and working 10 to 12 hour days. It's got to be so hard being a single parent and working those kinds of hours.

See I'm just a silly worrier. She said she has not stopped thinking about us and caring about us she's just had it rough.

Please pray for her and the kids. She's been having a rough few years and she is just such a good person and needs a break from all the bad stuff that keeps happening.

THANKS!!

Big Brothers Are Great!!

2007-09-13T20:33:00.000-05:00

We are truly blessed that Asha and Dakota get along so well. Dakota is over the moon in love with his little sister and she the same. She cries when he goes to his mom's for the weekend and she always has to make sure that he goes wherever we go. She is always saying "Come on Coey (Cody)". They play wonderfully together and there have only been a few times in the last 2 1/2 years that Dakota had lost his cool with her. It was this summer actually and we were doing alot of traveling and they were both not happy to be stuck in the backseat for so long with eachother.

I'm an only child so it is wonderful for me to see them so close and to get along so well. Dakota has pictures of Asha all over his room and he even spends his own money to buy her things. Some days their closeness is even a problem because he would rather play with her some days than do anything else like oh let's say chores or homework. It always brings a smile to my face how patient he is with her.

It's actually pretty funny because Asha has the 2 men of the house wrapped around her little finger. Dakota jumps pretty much whenever she wants something even though he's been told not to give into her whinning/fits. He hates to see her unhappy.

Well here are some pictures I took yesterday of them together.

Here he is helping her shoot a basket. Asha loves anything that Dakota does so she loves basketball and soccer. She wants to do what he is doing.You can't really see him in this picture but he is holding her up so she can shoot the basket herself.

Here they are trying to fly his plane together. She really thought it was pretty cool.

Gymnastics

2007-09-13T20:15:00.000-05:00

Asha had her first gymnastics class on Tuesday. She had done gymnastics at the YMCA last year but this place is more professional. Asha already learned more her first class at the new place than she did in 2 months at the YMCA.

She did sooooo good. She listened really well and did what they told her to do. She loved working on the bars. She would hang on the bar and walk her feet up the wall and then the coach would help them to spin around the bar. She didn't want to leave that station she liked it so much. She's always hanging on stuff here. Just today she was playing on her swingset and flipped backwards off of the bars on the swingset. I was so shocked. She had never done that before. I knew we were doing the right thing by signing her up for gymnastics and that just proved it today.

I will post pictures but they all turned out so dark. I though the lighting in there was going to work but she was usually too far away for the flash to work. I'm going to video tape next Tuesday.

I was also worried that she would be the youngest in there but there is another little girl who is about a month younger than her.

This is Asha waiting to get on the trampoline. I have some funny pictures of her beads sticking up in every direction from her jumping but they are too dark to post. :(This is the best one I have of her on the trampoline. She was so funny though. At the end of the trampoline they have thick mats so they don't fall off and hurt themselves and she just kept jumping right to the end of the mats too.

This is her laying on the floor after class. She didn't want to come off the gymnastics floor and when she did she just kind of layed down on the floor. I guess she got a work out.

Sleep..... What's That?

2007-09-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

All of a sudden we are having a repeat of July here. Asha won't sleep again. July was an absoltuely horrible month for sleeping and now she is doing it again. No matter what time she goes to bed she is up at the crack of dawn, won't take naps, and sometimes even fights going to bed at night. I know I'm not the only mom having this problem so just wondering what it is that is making all these kids not tired or atleast fighting it so hard. MOMMY NEEDS SLEEP!!

Well of course as I write that I am up instead of going to bed DUH on my part I guess.

Excited here that Asha is starting gymnastics on Tuesday. She's excited as well because she can't wait to wear her leotards. Grandma and Papa came to visit yesterday and she ran to her room and grabbed her favorite leotard and asked Grandma to put it on her. She knows a sucker when she sees on. She's got daddy and brother wrapped around her little finger.

Asha's new accomplishment for the weekend was finally playing with the bubble blowing Curious George doll we bought her a month ago to try and brib her into taking baths. When we first bought it she loved it until we tried to make him blow bubbles. He makes this horrible noise like Darth Vader and it scared the crap out of her so she hasn't touched it since that day. We put him on one of the speakers in the living room and she was fine with that as long as he didn't move from there. She would put little hats on him and poke him with things as long as he didn't move. Well for some reason he was ok to move this weekend and now she won't go anywhere without him. If anyone has the inclination to buy one of these things DON'T. The bubble part doesn't really work and his arm keeps falling off which is really annoying to keep putting back on 50 times a day. This is what we have heard all weekend "Please George arm on, Please George arm on etc..."

Well here are some pictures from the weekend.

This is Asha on daddy's lap. Her most favorite place to be on the weekends when he's home!!

Not the best picture of her but I took this because of the new hairstyle I did on her. It's called a twist out. I had done twists in her hair that lasted almost 2 weeks and when I took them out they were still all twisty and sticking up all cute!!Ok me the big dummy that I am thought I was doing cornrows correctly until I actually watched a video on how to do them. The picture above is my attempt today and they actually look like real cornrows. I always wondered before why mine were so wide and everyone else's cornrows were so narrow. DUH because I was doing it wrong. I am pretty proud of myself and like the real cornrows better than the way I was doing it.

Mamma D

2007-09-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

When I look at this beautiful little face I just can't help but to think of Mamma D. I worry about her and think about her every day. I know she is doing fine and getting on with her life now that she's not in Grad school but I still worry. It's even worse when she goes for long periods of time without e-mailing me.

I worry that by getting on with her life that she won't want to have as much contact as we have in the past and that makes me sad for Asha and for myself. Like I have stated she is like the sister I've never had and we truly love her like part of the family.

I can understand if moving on with her life means not having alot of contact with us but I will miss her very much!! I may also just be overreacting like I tend to do. I freak out and then she e-mails me to tell me how insanely busy she's been and then I feel stupid for thinking she was moving away from us. She does have 2 kids in school now and a full time job so it just may be that she is too busy or tired to e-mail.

I just want Asha to grow up knowing her Mamma D and how wonderful she is. I think only good can come from Asha knowing her birthmother and I think Mamma D feels the same.

I'll let you all know if she does contact me. I've been e-mailing her updates as usual but have not heard back from her at all.

Fun Times

2007-09-02T16:52:00.000-05:00

We've been having a great end of summer. We are still doing the park thing regularly and there was a fair we took the kids to last night. Asha really is starting to enjoy rides and that is so much fun to watch.

She is still into her pink boots and has been wearing them with everything again. Her new passion is her new leotards for gymnastics. She keeps pulling them out of her drawers and wants us to put them on.

Asha on the carousel at the fair. She never used to like it but the last few times she's really started to smile and laugh and yell "Whee" while on.

Here she is all dressed up for her Great Grandma's birthday party and of course there are the pink boots. We tried VERY hard to talk her into her cute white sandals but it had to be the boots. We get comments every where we go about her boots. Everyone loves them and that makes her want to wear them more.

This is Asha at the school playground. I really love this picture of her even though part of her got a little cut off.

Did you all realize that it's getting darker out earlier? Well the night we took a walk to the school playground I thought we would have plenty of time to get home before dark but I was very wrong. It was almost completely dark out by 8 p.m. We ended up walking home in the dark. So just in case no one has noticed it is getting dark earlier.

Pictures!!

2007-08-26T20:48:00.000-05:00

My girl is addicted to corn on the cob. She had 2 pieces this night and wanted more. If you even mention corn on the cob she runs around the house yelling "corn on cob" "corn on cob"!!

This is Asha enjoying the fact that we took the railing off of her bed and that she got new blanket and pillow case. She LOVES it. The only problem is that she sleeps pretty rough so we tuck the blanket into the side of the bed so she doesn't roll out. Well she didn't roll out but I found her at midnight with half her body hanging over the side almost touching the floor and the other half still tucked nicely in bed.

Here she is in the new leotard I bought for her off of ebay. She is going to be starting gymnastics next month and I found some really great deals on ebay. This is the day it came in the mail. She HAD to wear it.

I just love her sparkly mischevious face in this picture. She just sparkles. I can't get enough of her.

Another Question Answered

2007-08-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

Question 3:

Do you think her faith impacts how she has handled her grief and her relationship with you all? Does she ever talk about that...the correlation between her faith and how she has processed and handled everything over the past couple of years?

I can't recall for sure if and when she mentioned her faith helping with her grief but I'm pretty sure she had mentioned something along those lines in one of her e-mails that first year. She is very active in her church and has even written and directed Easter and Christmas plays. She leans on God heavily in hard times and like I said always comes through with a smile. Her faith amazes me and I'm pretty positive that's what helped her through it all.

The thing about Mamma D is that she is a VERY busy woman. Her e-mails aren't as frequent or long as they used to be so I only get tid bits of information from her at a time. I used to get more lengthy e-mails but she now has a full time job and a 5 and 6 year old to take care of. Seriously there are times she doesn't check her mail or e-mail for weeks. If I send her something in the mail I e-mail to tell her to check her mail. I miss her and her e-mails but I do understand that she has her own life down in Florida and she may be trying to move on. I know we will never loose touch but she has a life and she's going to live it. She has big plans for her future and she is working towards those plans. I hope she gets everything out of life that she deserves and she deserves ALOT!!

Questions Answered

2007-08-23T11:29:00.001-05:00

Thanks for asking questions ladies and they are good ones at that!! Here are some answers.

Question 1:

Do you and Mamma D ever disagree about anything? Just out of curiosity. If so, how do you handle it?

Now you may not believe this but we have never disagreed about anything. I don't know how to say this so it doesn't come across the wrong way but she knows that we are Asha's parents and she doesn't step over that boundary. I don't know if boundary is a good word but that's what popped into my head. When she was here visiting people naturally thought Asha was hers so when people would ask her questions she would look at me and ask me to answer. We got some funny looks but she never stepped in and acted like the mom. She let me do that. She would let us take care of discipline and taking care of Asha the whole time she was here. She has had nothing but praise for us and what we do for Asha and for her and her children.

Question 2:

Does Mamma D ever share some of those harder emotions with you? Do you see them affecting your friendship, or her relationship with Asha at all?

We were really worried when she went home after her visit here that it would be too hard leaving Asha again but when she got home she sent me the most wonderful e-mail about how much she lovs us all and how blessed she feels to have us in her life. I know the first year was hard for her and we even sent her a video of Asha's first year and she did tell me that she couldn't watch it because it was too hard. After her visit and she got to see up close the kind of life Asha has she told me she would probably be fine to watch it now. In the beginning I asked her how much information she wanted and if it would help her or hurt her and she said the more information the better. She wanted to know everything and I think that helps her to know how well cared for and loved Asha is. I send her a TON of pictures and she just gushes over them and appreciates them sooo much. She has not expressed since our visit last year that there has been any sadness and I do my best to try and help in any way I can.

I hope I answered your questions and if not ask again and I will try to elaborate some more. Keep the questions coming ladies and I will be happy to answer them.

Our Open Adoption Story

2007-08-22T21:08:00.000-05:00

Someone on another blog I read mentioned that she is trying to find common threads in adoption and has not been able to find any and has encouraged adoptive families to share their open adoption stories.

I have briefly shared about our open adoption but not in great detail. Actually I am very happy with our open adoption and I think Asha's birthmom is too. She has stated more than once that she never thought she could love us as much as she does.

Some people think we are out of the ordinary for open adoptions because we are willing to go all the way. If we lived closer there would be frequent visits and many many memories to be made. Unfortunately we are in Wisconsin and Asha's birthmom and 2 children are in Florida. We try to have atleast one visit a year but did not get to our visit yet this year. We are hoping to go down and visit them in January if all works out. We send regular pictures sometimes monthly sometimes less and we receive pictures of them a few times a year. We have pictures of Asha's birthfamily all over her room and the house. She loves to look at them and can point them out when you ask where her Mamma D is and brother and sister are. We do call her birthmom Mamma D and that is something we all agreed on. We e-mail back and forth frequently and truly Mamma D is like a sister I never had.

I feel so blessed to have her in our lives and especially since she had no idea how open she wanted to be when we all started out. In our first conversation we told her we were as open as she wanted us to be. From there she took the reins and we have a wonderful relationship and great love for eachother. She thinks I am the funniest worry wart out there. Since she lives in Florida I am always worried about hurricanes so she always e-mails me letting me know that they are ok and that I can stop worrying because she knows without me even e-mailing her to check on them that I am worrying.

The best thing for me is seeing Mamma D with Asha. I have the best memories of last summer when she came to visit. She would put Asha up on her shoulders and dance around with Asha squealing and laughing. She would even call Asha the pet names we call her without even knowing those were our pet names for her. Asha was fascinated by Mamma D's hands. She would hold them and turn them over and then look at her own hands. It was so sweet to watch. I will always cherish their time together.

Mamma D is such an amazing woman. She just finished Grad. School and has gotten herself an amazing job. She is a single mother and goes above and beyond for her children while dealing with hardships and trying to get her life on track. She takes so much joy in hearing about Asha and everything she is doing and learning. Mamma D also has an amazing faith in God. Even when her life isn't looking so good she can look to him for strength and she always makes it through with a smile on her face. She amazes me and I am truly truly blessed to have her in our lives and Asha could not have been blessed with a better birthmom.

If there is anything anyone would like to know about our adoption feel free to ask me. I love to talk about adoption!!

Front Pictures Of Asha's New Hair Style

2007-08-20T20:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight was a good picture night. It seemed that every picture I took of Asha turned out sooo cute so I am going to post a few of them and then you can also see how cute her hair is from the front. I think this is my new favorite hair style for her. I think for Halloween I will put orange in her hair. That will be sooo cute!!
This is my favorite one of the night. I think it was also the first one of the night too. I take alot of pictures.

Asha playing with her new toy box.

Just one I got of her walking into her bedroom.

I love to take pictures of her. Tonight was a wonderful night and she cooperated so well for me.

I Love This Picture!!

2007-08-20T14:43:00.000-05:00

I just love this picture so much!! We were heading out the door to take Dakota to his mom's house and they were having a nice little family moment so I snapped a picture. It turned out so nice. I think I might need to get it framed.

New Hair Style

2007-08-20T14:40:00.000-05:00

I tried a new hairstyle today on Asha and I really think I like it. It takes less time than the beads but it still puts color in her hair. Let me know what you think!!

I will try to get a good one from the front and post it later. She wasn't cooperating after sitting for so long. She just wanted to play.

At The Park!!

2007-08-17T21:27:00.001-05:00

Our town got a grant for new play equipment at the local park and it's finally done so we had to venture down to see it this week. We went twice and Asha loves it more every time we go. She particularly likes going to the park because it's next to a river and she loves to watch the river as we walk over it. As soon as she gets in her stroller she says "see river, see river".

It was so cute at the park there was this little girl who was 4 and she was just drawn to Asha. She followed Asha around and Asha followed her around. The little girls older brother was more than willing to help Asha get around the tunnels and places I couldn't get to. She seems to draw people and kids where ever she goes. When we went to the beach last week this little girl kept coming up to Asha and saying "Your sooo cute!!" People are always coming over and talking to her at the stores and even men go gaga over her. It's so funny to see men stop and talk all cutsey to her.

Any ways here are some pictures from our outings this week.

This is Asha sitting on the steps going up to the tunnel that she played in most of the time we were there. She couldn't get all the way through by herself but she kept trying.

Here she is in the tunnel. It was steep and some of the kids used it for a slide as well. She had fun just trying to get through.

This picture was taken the first day we went to the park. She was more interested in the swings the first time but today she liked the actual new play ground stuff.

Here is Asha and her brother having fun on the new equipment. Asha really tries to do everything that he does.

This one is just for fun because she looks so cute and just so darn old in this picture. This was taken today and so were the first 2.

We will definately be going back to the park as much as we can before summer is over. She didn't want to leave.

Just Pictures

2007-08-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

This was Asha's outfit on Thursday with her pink boots. We were going to the beach that day so her top is just her bikini top.

Daddy dressed her today since I had a migraine. He did a pretty good job but she did talk him back into the boots. She actually went a few days without them.

I took this at the beach on Thursday. I just thought it was a cute picture so I included it. She really had lots of fun and actually went into the water up to her waist. I guess she doesn't mind water if it's warm enough because the last time we went to the beach she barely went deep enough for the water to touch her butt. I wish she was more of a water bug but we have fun in the sand too.

Here she is in her new bikini. She loves it and wants to wear it all the time. I love her in it too so we'll just have to go to the beach more I guess.

Still All About The Boots!!

2007-08-08T22:20:00.000-05:00

She's still wearing them and getting compliments where ever we go. She is sooo obsessed with her boots that when I put her down for her nap she must have gotten out of her bed and put them back on because when she woke up they were on and on the wrong feet. When I took those boots off tonight she had some pretty ripe feet. I thought she had a poopy diaper her little feet smelled so bad.

Hopefully tomorrow she will keep them off since we are going to the beach. I don't think boots and sand will mix very well.

I just love being a mommy to my little girl and take joy in all the cute little quirks she has. I will always remember these fun days and I can't wait for many more.

I would post a picture of her in her boots today but I left the camera in her diaper bag again so it will have to wait!!