Yo Yo Kind of Week

It's been an interesting week around here. Probably just normal life things but some are taking their toll on me and some are just shocking me.

I don't even know where to start. The week started out rough with me not getting alot of sleep because I was in sooo much physical pain it kept waking me up. This keeps happening that once or twice a month it feels like there is something huge in me pushing all my insides out and when I even lay down or touch my back, sides or stomach area it hurts soooooooooo bad. I can't even sleep because the pain is so bad. I did tell my dr. and he just said it's tense muscles and gave me muscle relaxers but they scare me since my mom had a really bad accident with them (she pooped on my step dad in bed while they slept LOL). I really don't want that to happen to me so I won't take them. I really think it's something else but not sure what it could be but it hurts bad. Any way that went away after the first few days and I felt pretty good yesterday but work has been really busy and a little difficult this week also. It's like the lady I replaced told me when you finally think your doing something right you get yelled at that you are doing it wrong. The weird part is though that even though I was getting yelled at I was also getting complimented on how good a job I am doing which is where the shocking part comes in.

The other lady that works with me informed me yesterday that along with her I am also in the running for management. (Picture here a completely shocked face ) I have never been considered for management and was not even aware that this was an option since he knows I am a single parent and that my daughter comes first. I just assumed I would always be the secretary and maybe eventually the office manager but not in charge of a crew and stuff like that. I bet I could really make a good living with this company and he is very generous with raises but the unfortunate part is that he does not offer insurance and eventually I will need to find a job that has insurance if I want to ever make more money. I am pretty much at my max for hours and pay right now without loosing my insurance through the state. I don't plan on making $9 an hour for the rest of my life. If he would offer me insurance with that raise I just may stay forever. I love love love my job but need insurance more.

What makes it a yo yo week is that I was also pretty depressed the beginning of the week thinking about 4th of July and the fact that we wouldn't have a big family celebration this year like we normally do and it made me sad for me and Asha. I cried alot about it and then I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself which was just stupid because I was the one who planned all the fun activities for all the holidays so I am still here and I can still make this a fun 4th of July for me and Asha and that's what I'm going to do. I don't need Josh here for her and I to have fun. I actually have a very fun and busy weekend planned for us and there really isn't any room in our plans for anyone else. It's really nice to know that I can make plans and have them stick or cancel them and not have to worry about other people and their plans.

WOW is it Friday yet? LOL I have a pretty busy weekend planned for me too since Asha will be with her dad. I am going to try and get out there more and meet new people so I am going to visit a church at the end of my road this weekend and visit an Alanon group here in my new town as well. I love my old church and my old Alanon group but I just can't afford to drive back there for meetings and church so it's time to find some new places. Wish me luck ladies.

Have a GREAT weekend!!