Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Straight From My Heart!!

I can't believe how much I love my little girl. I never felt unconditional love from my mom and was always fearful that I wouldn't be able to give it but WOW I am full of it. Asha could do anything good or bad and that girl would still hold that special place in my heart. There are days that my heart feels like it will burst with all the love it feels for her.

I cry daily for her. Mostly happy tears but some sad tears and some scared tears. I just can't believe that I've been so blessed with her and that she is our little girl forever and ever. It was such a hard journey to get her and some days it still feels like someone's going to come and take her from me. I cry because she is growing up too fast. It's hard to believe she will be with us for 2 years in March. The time is just going by way too fast. I cry for the possiblity that somene will hate her for her beautiful brown skin. I was flipping through the channels the other day and stopped when I saw an African American baby doll hanging from a rope. Turns out it was a show about the KKK and I just wanted to throw up. How could someone hate my baby just because she has brown skin. She brings us such joy and others around her as well so how could anyone hate her who doesn't even know her.

Sorry that got a little too intense there. LOVE LOVE LOVE is all I feel when I look at her and I couldn't have gotten through these last few years without her. She makes me smile when I'm too sad or tired to even want to smile and laugh ..... I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life. I keep telling my mother in law that Asha has the voice of a thousand angels, but then it can turn to the sound of a screaming banshee in a matter of seconds. It's the thousand angels voice I love to listen to. She lays up in her crib and just talks herself to sleep and it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

I tried to post a recent picture but either my computer is acting up or blogger wouldn't let me so no picture this time. SORRY!!!