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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Our Open Adoption Story

Someone on another blog I read mentioned that she is trying to find common threads in adoption and has not been able to find any and has encouraged adoptive families to share their open adoption stories.

I have briefly shared about our open adoption but not in great detail. Actually I am very happy with our open adoption and I think Asha's birthmom is too. She has stated more than once that she never thought she could love us as much as she does.

Some people think we are out of the ordinary for open adoptions because we are willing to go all the way. If we lived closer there would be frequent visits and many many memories to be made. Unfortunately we are in Wisconsin and Asha's birthmom and 2 children are in Florida. We try to have atleast one visit a year but did not get to our visit yet this year. We are hoping to go down and visit them in January if all works out. We send regular pictures sometimes monthly sometimes less and we receive pictures of them a few times a year. We have pictures of Asha's birthfamily all over her room and the house. She loves to look at them and can point them out when you ask where her Mamma D is and brother and sister are. We do call her birthmom Mamma D and that is something we all agreed on. We e-mail back and forth frequently and truly Mamma D is like a sister I never had.

I feel so blessed to have her in our lives and especially since she had no idea how open she wanted to be when we all started out. In our first conversation we told her we were as open as she wanted us to be. From there she took the reins and we have a wonderful relationship and great love for eachother. She thinks I am the funniest worry wart out there. Since she lives in Florida I am always worried about hurricanes so she always e-mails me letting me know that they are ok and that I can stop worrying because she knows without me even e-mailing her to check on them that I am worrying.

The best thing for me is seeing Mamma D with Asha. I have the best memories of last summer when she came to visit. She would put Asha up on her shoulders and dance around with Asha squealing and laughing. She would even call Asha the pet names we call her without even knowing those were our pet names for her. Asha was fascinated by Mamma D's hands. She would hold them and turn them over and then look at her own hands. It was so sweet to watch. I will always cherish their time together.

Mamma D is such an amazing woman. She just finished Grad. School and has gotten herself an amazing job. She is a single mother and goes above and beyond for her children while dealing with hardships and trying to get her life on track. She takes so much joy in hearing about Asha and everything she is doing and learning. Mamma D also has an amazing faith in God. Even when her life isn't looking so good she can look to him for strength and she always makes it through with a smile on her face. She amazes me and I am truly truly blessed to have her in our lives and Asha could not have been blessed with a better birthmom.

If there is anything anyone would like to know about our adoption feel free to ask me. I love to talk about adoption!!

3 comments:

BlessedWithDaughters said...

Nice story, Mandy!

Do you and Mamma D ever disagree about anything? Just out of curiosity. If so, how do you handle it? If not, then you are blessed! *smile*

Love ya,
Min

Angel said...

That is so cool. It would be wonderful if our adoption ends up this way. :0) Angel

Heather.PNR said...

Thank you for sharing your story!! It sounds like you all have a great relationship. That makes me happy.

I'm going to take you up on your offer to share more. ;-) We all know that even the best adoptions involve a certain amount of sadness/anger/grief, especially for birthparents. Does Mamma D ever share some of those harder emotions with you? Do you see them affecting your friendship, or her relationship with Asha at all?