Dr. Results

I know some of you want me to post the results of what the dr. said today but I'm not going to. Asha's dad sometimes reads this blog and personally what is wrong with me is none of his business so if anyone wants to know please e-mail me and I will tell you.

Not trying to keep anyone in suspense I just don't feel my health is any of his concern. I don't think he's read this blog for a long time but just in case I'm not going to post anything.

I would appreciate prayers though and any e-mails will be answered when I have time to answer them. I can't guarantee it will be right away because I am a single mother with a VERY active 3 year old but I will try and get to them as soon as possible.

Thank you all for your support and concern.

Absentee Again!!

Sorry I haven't been posting. It's been kind of rough around here and now I may have to have my pancreas or gall bladder out. I will find out on Thursday.

Asha came home from her dad's with pink eye so we've been dealing with that. She's actually doing really well with letting me give her the drops. She is such a good girl.

She is so worried about me because she knows I'm sick. I was trying to hide it from her but she walked in on me in the bathroom last week throwing up and now when I go in the bathroom she asks if I'm going to throw up. She also jumped on me last week when I was in so much pain and I screamed out in pain and started to cry. I couldn't help it and felt so bad because then she started to cry because she thought she hurt me. She always asks now if she can cuddle with me or if it's going to hurt me. I feel so bad. I keep reassuring her that she did not hurt me and that I love to cuddle with her.

She is still asking for our other house. I let her know that mommy can't afford to live there because I don't have enough money. I wish I could afford to live there because I think it would make some things so much easier on her. I loved our town and that house. I cry when I drive through our town because I miss it so much.

I've just been an emotional mess. I am really scared that I may need surgery and I've never had surgery and it scares me to death. Luckily there is a wonderful friend who said that we could stay with her for 2 weeks if I had to have surgery because if I do I won't be able to carry Asha or anything for atleast 2 weeks. She said her and her daughters would take care of both of us and we could stay with them. We would be back in our old town again!!! I can't believe that this friend offered this to us but I feel so blessed to have her in my life!! THANK YOU GOD for my wonderful friends and all the people who are praying for me and care about me!!

Memories

Asha apparently has an amazing memory. On Saturday we went to a cookout at my friends house and she just bought a house on the same road as our old house and as soon as we turned onto the road Asha said "are we going to our house?" I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure she would have forgotten about it by now but she remembered. She even remembered when we were at the park in our old town that I used to take her and Dakota there.

It's actually kind of sad because now she's been asking to go home and when we get home she says "not this home". She has also been talking about the park alot and when I used to take her and Dakota.

Her and I are really missing him and I wish he could come over more. It doesn't seem to be getting easier on either one of us. It's actually getting harder. There are things I'm starting to miss and she's obviously missing some things too.

She has even started asking me "what are we missing?" and when I say I don't know she'll look at me and say "Dakota". It's so sad because she was so close to her brother. When he came home from school she used to tell him "I'm so happy you are here!!" I was really excited for her to have a big brother when we got her and then for him to be such a good big brother was so wonderful to see. He would have done anything for her and she adored him so much. He would go to the fair with his friends and spend most of his money winning her things at the different games. He would turn down playing with his friends to stay home and play with her. He was an AWESOME big brother.

We sure do miss him.

Happy 4th Of July!!!!!!!!!!

Our weekend plans got all turned upside down but that's fine. Asha and I are flexible and as long as we are having fun together it doesn't matter where we go or who we are with.


We were supposed to go to a cook out at a friends house and then to the fireworks with them but her husband decided to change their plans so they went somewhere else which left me and Asha on our own. We hung out at home most of the day and I made stuff for the cook out that we are invited to tomorrow that might not happen as well. My friend's daughter had the flu yesterday and my friend thought she was getting it too. She will let me know tomorrow if we are still on or not. Any way we decided to go to a petting zoo and then we went back to my home town where we were going to watch fireworks tonight. We played at the park and had Subway for supper until it was late enough for us to head over to the fair grounds where the fireworks are held. Well we sat there for an hour and blew bubbles and played ball waiting for the fireworks to start and as soon as they started lighting off the practice ones Asha freaked and instantly wanted to go home. She was up early today and wouldn't take a nap so I'm sure that's most of why it freaked her so much but right before they started we left and came home. She was sleeping by the time we got here.


It was fine I am tired anyway. We've been doing ALOT this week and I need a little down time this weekend as well.

Tomorrow we will probably go swimming and then to the cookout if it's still on. If it's not on we will have a little fire here and roast some marshmallows maybe with Asha's grandma and grandpa if they want to join us. Either way is fine with me. I can be more flexible now that it's just the 2 of us.


Well I want to post some pictures and get to bed. I'm exhausted. Here's some pictures from this past week. ENJOY!!

Here's my patriotic girl all ready to celebrate the 4th of July. I found this dress at KMart for $3 or $5 I think. It was the last one and perfect for today.

The camera just loves her and I love to take pictures of her.
Here she is at the park today. She was trying to do all the big kid stuff and just wasn't having it that mom said she was too little. I ended up spotting her on alot of stuff because she was going to try it no matter what.


We spent an hour and a half at this park. It's the one in my home town and I used to take the kids there a few times a week last summer.


I took her to the beach this week on one of my short days and she had a blast. I wasn't sure how she would be in the water and she started to walk in and just kept on walking. I had to follow her in to make sure she didn't go too far.

Dakota stopped over the other day unexpectedly. He was fishing with his grandpa and when they got back and he saw we were home he came in to visit. It was a very nice visit. I miss him alot and it was like old times having him here and Asha was extactic that he was here. She cried when he had to leave. They look so happy to be together. He even had his papa wake him up at 7:30 the next morning so he could come down and see us before we left for the day.


It's been a good week and a good holiday weekend so far. Hope everyone else can say the same.


HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!