Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I Want To Cry!!

This has all been so hard on Asha. For the most part she is doing well but I think the move has done her in. She is still confused and when we leave our new place to go anywhere she asks if we are going home and I have to tell her that this is our home now. There are days she cries when we come here because she wants the other house. I was supposed to go back today and get some more stuff and do a little more cleaning but I'm scared of what it will do to her.

She has been crying now for an hour straight and it doesn't seem like she's going to stop. There has just been too much change her in life in such a short time and she's kind of snapped now. Since she came back from her dad's house on Sunday she's been so clingy and whiney and crying ALOT and I can't do anything because I have to hold her constantly or she just won't stop crying. She has been crying for about 45 minutes before school every morning and atleast an hour after I pick her up. She doesn't like to go to school and just wants me all the time and I just can't give her me all the time. She's in her room right now throwing a massive temper tantrum and nothing I say or do helps. I hate this that she is so miserable and there is nothing I can do.

I had to cancel my dr. appointment for this afternoon because she just won't stop crying and throwing these horrible tantrums. I can't even pick her up off the floor without getting kicked and pumeled by her. I have a meeting tonight that I have to miss for the second week in a row because she will just scream the whole time like she has the last few times I've gone.

I miss her so much when I'm at work but it's to the point I'm afraid to pick her up because I don't want to put up with this anymore. I want to be able to come home and take her on walks or go to the park and we can't do anything because she just screams, cries and throws tantrums for atleast an hour. It is so hard and I am so tired.

Sorry to dump but doesn't anyone have any suggestions. Time outs don't work anymore because she refuses to sit and if I try to hold her she just kicks me and I've tried to ignore her but then she grabs my clothes and pulls on me and kicks me. Where did my sweet girl go? Oh yeah she left when her daddy left.

That is the suckiest part is I still have to suffer the consequences of his actions and he doesn't have to deal with them at all.


Angel said...

Oh sweet lady. That is horrible. Your poor baby girl. I am so sorry. I have no helpful advice but I do have a friend who has been through what you are walking. She is a wonderful Godly woman. She was a stay at home momma of two before she was forced into a new life. Here is her blog

Why don't you try leaving her a comment. You can tell her Angel sent you for some advice. I bet she can help or at least understand. She is precious.

Hugs! I will pray for sweet little Asha's heart. I am so sad for all of you. Angel

Aves @ Call of the Phoebe said...

I am sorry you and Asha are having such a hard time. She just may need time to grieve. If there is any thing positve in this situation, it may be that she is indeed grieving rather than holding it in. She will heal and get past this, just as you will. If you want to do a play date sometime to get a change of scenery, let me know.


Mindy said...

I'm so very sorry. I haven't been through this same situation, but I can relate to the feeling of being frustrated and angry that you have to deal with the fallout of someone else's actions. That sucks for you, and my heart breaks for both you and Asha.

I agree that Asha needs time to grieve. Don't let her push you away emotionally, though, even if she fights you. She desperately needs to know that you aren't going to let her do that...she needs you to be a 100% constant for her (which I know you are). And in addition to her own grief that she's working out, she might be fighting you right now as a test to see if you're going to go away, too.

Love you, Mandy, and I'm praying for you both.