Christmas is coming!!!

I can't believe Christmas is almost here again. Asha's second Christmas WOW. This year should be really fun with her. Last year all she wanted to do was rip everyone's bows off their presents and play with those.

Lesson number one learned!! Don't put Christmas presents under the tree 3 weeks prior to Christmas. Will drive the little one CRAZY!!! We had to take all bows off the presents because she kept stealing them. Now she just steals the presents.

Lesson number two learned!!! I guess there is no lesson number two. Just don't put presents under the tree early unless you want to chase little one around and repair presents multiple times.

My stepson is loving this though because Asha keeps damaging the wrapping paper on his presents and he is hoping to get a peak of what's inside.

Christmas is at our house this year and I am going all out!! I found a fun punch recipe that will be fun for the kids, now all I have to do is find a punch bowl. We are baking this weekend in preparation and I will also be making snacks next weekend in preparation for Christmas Day. I am so excited. Last year was hard on us so there wasn't much excitement which bummed me out since it was Asha's first Christmas but her second Christmas is going to ROCK!!

Our Christmas morning tradition is to have Belgian Waffles with strawberries after opening all of our presents. The kids love it and it's something we only have time to do once a year.

What are some of your Christmas traditions?

Again I am trying to upload pictures but I am having problems. I will post pictures later if I can.
I have the cutest picture of the kids in front of the tree and I so want to post it!! UGH!!

Straight From My Heart!!

I can't believe how much I love my little girl. I never felt unconditional love from my mom and was always fearful that I wouldn't be able to give it but WOW I am full of it. Asha could do anything good or bad and that girl would still hold that special place in my heart. There are days that my heart feels like it will burst with all the love it feels for her.

I cry daily for her. Mostly happy tears but some sad tears and some scared tears. I just can't believe that I've been so blessed with her and that she is our little girl forever and ever. It was such a hard journey to get her and some days it still feels like someone's going to come and take her from me. I cry because she is growing up too fast. It's hard to believe she will be with us for 2 years in March. The time is just going by way too fast. I cry for the possiblity that somene will hate her for her beautiful brown skin. I was flipping through the channels the other day and stopped when I saw an African American baby doll hanging from a rope. Turns out it was a show about the KKK and I just wanted to throw up. How could someone hate my baby just because she has brown skin. She brings us such joy and others around her as well so how could anyone hate her who doesn't even know her.

Sorry that got a little too intense there. LOVE LOVE LOVE is all I feel when I look at her and I couldn't have gotten through these last few years without her. She makes me smile when I'm too sad or tired to even want to smile and laugh ..... I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life. I keep telling my mother in law that Asha has the voice of a thousand angels, but then it can turn to the sound of a screaming banshee in a matter of seconds. It's the thousand angels voice I love to listen to. She lays up in her crib and just talks herself to sleep and it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

I tried to post a recent picture but either my computer is acting up or blogger wouldn't let me so no picture this time. SORRY!!!

A little bit of this and that!!

Here is Asha in her actual Halloween costume. She was supposed to be a fairy princess but wouldn't keep the crown on and once she got ahold of her first sucker she wouldn't hold the wand either so everyone kept calling her a butterfly so I guess that's what she was. Like the antenna's? I thought it was a cute idea. She unfortunately got a cold that day so didn't have too much fun but was happy to have her blue sucker through the whole thing.

The funniest thing though was that instead of saying trick or treat at the door she would walk up and say "eat". It's her favorite word and most people thought she was saying treat. Only I really knew what she was saying and would just laugh to myself.

Here's my first attempt at corn rows with beads. It was pretty interesting to do and took about an hour and a half of Blues Clues to get it done. It only lasted a few days and then she started pulling them out. When I first put them in she kept walking around shaking her head no because she liked the sound and the feel of them. It was funny to watch!! I don't think I did them completely right since they came out so easy but I'm sure the more I do it the better I will become at it.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make the last bead stay in and how to tuck the hair under the rest of the beads? Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!!

What A Character I Have!!!

This is kind of Asha's Halloween costume. I had to try the wings on her to make sure they fit and she ended up wanting the whole thing on so of course I put it all on over her jammies. She was just so cute I had to take the picture. Halloween will be so much fun this year. Last year she just sat in the stroller and looked completely and totally bored. This year there will be lots of running up to doors and wanting CANDY!!! Once she figures out that's what they are putting in her bucket I'm sure she will be gung ho on the whole thing.

She is almost 19 months now (tomorrow) and has such a wonderful little personality on her. She makes me laugh daily and has FINALLY started to sleep through the night. I forgot how good it felt to actually sleep through the night.

As for her being a little character she certainly is. She likes to mimic or sometimes even mock us which makes us laugh so hard. I tend to groan and moan when I'm bending or picking her up so she will pick up her dolls and moan and groan like her mom. It's so funny!!! I also sigh when I'm frustrated or just having a bad day and she will look at me and sigh right back. Theeeeeeennnnnnn there's my husband who dropped a dirty diaper and the floor and proceeded to say SH** and guess who said it right after him ..... you guessed it our little mimick. You never know how many bad things you actually say until they come out of that sweet little mouth.

I also promised pictures of Asha with a different hair style so here it is. It's nothing fancy but it's different. I did just experiment with doing corn rows in a diagonal line on her head and they turned out ok. I still need to practice some more but I'm getting there.

Feeling Pretty Bad!!

Feeling pretty bad right now. I was so frustrated and pretty much just stressed out and crabby all day because my little angel was being anything but that today. I was yelling at her a lot today and even gave her her first time out which didn't go real well so by night time I was exhausted and just feeling really bad about the whole day. What made me feel even worse and kind of better was when I put that little sweet heart to bed and she put that little head on my shoulders and then wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a hug. I felt bad because I'd been crabby all day and yelling but happy that even though I was crabby and yelling my little girl still knows that I love her and could give her crabby old mom a hug!!!

Does anyone else feel like this? On a day to day basis it seems like there are more power struggles and more frustration and days ending with me feeling bad for all the no's and yelling.

Boy was I stupid when I was younger and thought being a parent would be easy. It is so hard and so trying most days. There are A LOT of good days but boy the bad ones seem to be really bad and those are the ones that leave me feeling like a rotten parent. Am I alone with this or am just one of many frustrated moms?

18 Months Old Today

My baby girl is 18 months old today!! I can't believe how fast the last 18 months have gone. It seems like yesterday that we were bringing home this little 6 pound peanut in a car seat that looked waaaay too big for her. She has grown by leaps and bounds and everyone already thinks that she's 2. I quickly correct them and let them know that she is still just a baby because I am not ready for her to be 2 any time soon.

I think I had posted about her cutting 4 teeth and finally the 2 bottom molars have made their way through. Sleeping has been a little better since this happened.

She has also REALLY started saying alot of words in the last week or so. I will definately miss her cute little babbling she does but it's also cute hearing her talk. She's been talking for a while now but usually just the same few words that she has mastered but she is starting to relate words to things better now and then pointing and saying them.

She is such a complete joy and my heart just melts every time I look into that beautiful face and she shoots me one of those gorgeous smiles of hers. She is such a bundle of energy and love and it's so wonderful to be around something so pure every day and to see her react to the world.

I just realized that all the pictures I have posted all have the same hair style. I do actually know how to do other hair styles. I will have to post pictures in the future with a variety of hair styles. Sorry!!

Momma D Visits

I just received a new comment from Betina and she said she would like to hear more about Asha's birthmom visiting us this summer.

Well to start with we weren't sure when we were matched with Asha's birthmom how open the adoption would be. We were willing to be VERY open but her birthmom wasn't sure what she wanted yet. When Asha was born and we were able to spend that week with her birthmom we decided that we would try to see them (Asha's birthmom and bio brother and sister) at least once a year. If money allows we would love to go down there once a year and bring them up here once a year but she is very understanding and is ok with only once a year visits.

Momma D as we call Asha's birthmom is a grad student, supporting 2 children on her own and working as an intern to help put her through college so she was having a very stressful year and we decided to bring her and her son up her so she had to rest. We knew if we went down there she would continue to try and work so up here they came. Momma D's other daughter did not come because she was spending the summer in Jamaica with Momma D's aunt. How lucky is that little girl!!!

We bought their plane tickets and picked them up at the airport. It was great to see them again and to get caught up. We do pretty well communicating via e-mail but it's nicer to talk rather than type.

They were here for 5 days and we did so much that week. The first day we just got caught up and let them get settled here. The next day we went to the local fair and unfortunately her son did not like most of the rides and ended up crying ALOT. The next day we drove to the zoo and had a wonderful picnic. Then the day before they had to leave we had a cookout with our families so they could get to know her as well. It was very nice and she liked our families very much. The last day we had a big breakfast and took them to the airport. Saying good bye was hard but with her son and Asha pulling us in different directions we didn't get to be all emotional.

Asha loved Momma D and we actually think she called her it a few times. Asha would put her head on Momma D and say "ove" (love) and would hug her head if she was sitting on Momma D's shoulders. It was so cute!!! Momma D also put corn rows in Asha's hair and she looked so cute!!! I did learn alot from Momma D on how to take care of Asha's hair. We just love Momma D so much and we put the pictures we took of her visit up on Asha's wall so she can see her Momma D and brother all the time.

When Momma D got home she e-mailed to let me know they got home ok and to tell me that she loves us even more than she ever thought she could and that she is so happy to have us as her extended family. We feel the same way about her and her kids.

Nothing in particular

I just absolutely love this picture of Asha. It shows her little personality so well. The more I have her around other kids the more I realize exactly what a little character she is and how fun she is. I babysit for a little boy who is only around adults except Asha every once in a while and he is such a serious little boy. She laughs and plays and gets all silly and he just looks at her like she's weird. We like to dance and be silly and he didn't even know how to dance until we taught him.

I just love this little girl so much!! We went to the local fair the other weekend and she went on the carosal and LOVED it so much she kept saying "ride" "ride" all night because she wanted to go back on. She's my little dare devil and when she gets old enough to ride bigger rides I'm sure she'll ride the scariest ones she can find.

The hardest part about being her mom is the not sleeping. I know by the time she's this age she should be sleeping through the night but I think she has nightmares. Not all the time but they go in spurts. She will be good for a few weeks and then we are back to getting up almost every hour because she's screaming in her sleep. She won't sleep with us because she thinks it's play time so we can't bring her to bed with us but we are constantly getting up to check on her and it's so hard!! Her and I have been sleeping until 10 or 10:30 every morning for the last few weeks because we are so exhausted from the nighttime.

Well I just thought I should post since I haven't in a while and I just had to share this picture of her.

First Time Sleeping Away From Home

On Thursday we were supposed to meet a few ladies from one of the adoption groups I'm a part of at the zoo but things happened and we didn't meet up. The kids and I still had fun at the zoo. We did get rained out half way through the day but did see most of the zoo.

The biggest part of that day for Asha is that she slept away from home for the very first time since we brought her home and she LOVED it. My husband works out of town most of the week but we are allowed to stay with him if we want in the hotel and he just happened to be working in the town that the zoo was in so we crashed with him at his hotel. Asha was so excited and hyper we couldn't keep her quiet. She kept screaming and laughing. I never thought we would get her to sleep especially since she has never really slept or played in her pack n play. She went down without much of a problem and slept better in her pack n play than she does at home in her crib.

I am also very excited because I may be signing her up for a gymnastics class. We have to wait for the late fall class though because she has to be 18 months and won't turn that until next month and the first fall class will already be started. I am soooo excited. She is such a little dare devil and monkey she climbs on EVERYTHING!!! She has great balance too so I really think gynmastics will be right up her alley.

I will have to post pictures of the zoo later. I haven't uploaded them to the computer yet.

What A Day!!

Love this little girl to death but boy did she give me a hard time today. Actually she's been giving me a hard time this week. She hasn't had much of an appetite when normally she will eat ANYTHING that is put in front of her. Her not so nice way of telling me she doesn't want to eat has been to either throw the food on the floor or throw her fork on the table or floor. She normally does so well but she obviously doesn't have much of an appetite this week. When I can actually get her to eat she won't use her fork or she will stab the food and then take it off with her fingers and eat it that way. I sure hope this is a phase because she has been so difficult this week.

She is only 16 months old but some days I think we are going through the terrible 2's already. She has also been biting and hitting which I had her broken of and all of a sudden she's doing it again.

It's so hard to punish her though because when I yell at her for hitting or biting she puts her head on my leg and say "ove" which is how she says love. It melts my heart and I pick her up and tell her I love her too.

It's been harder lately to deal with because my husband is out of town for almost the last 2 months training for a new job so I am flying solo. This may be part of the problem with the biting and hitting as well but it's so much easier when there is someone else here to help out. I am so beat by the end of the day that I usually don't even have the energy to check e-mail or update this blog. I don't know how single parents do it.

My Beautiful Girl

I love this little girl so much!!! She brings so much joy to every day!! I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my whole life. She is silly and happy pretty much all the time. She loves to make us laugh and we love to laugh for her.

This past Saturday we had a wedding and she was the life of the party. During the prayer before we ate she started clapping and saying "YEAH" right at the right moment and everyone started to laugh and then during all the toasts she did the same thing. Someone at another table said "I love that little girl she says yeah right at the right time every time!!" It was so funny and cute!! Later she was out there on the dance floor just dancing like there was no tomorrow. Oh yeah she was also chasing the little boys. She makes everything so much more fun and enjoyable.

I can't even say how much I admire her birth mom for making the hard choice to make an adoption plan and pick us to raise her. I know how incredibly hard it was for her and how much she loves Asha but still knew in herself that raising her was something she just could not do at that point in her life. Asha's birth mom is so strong and we love her so much!! She has give us the most wonderful gift ever and we will forever hold her close to our hearts!!

Circus, Circus

Today was Asha's first trip to the circus and she loved it!! Her favorite part was the elephant at the end. She was screaming and clapping so loud that people were looking at us. I didn't think she would really watch the whole thing but she did. She watched every single act and would even clap when the clown told the crowd to. She was pretty astonished by it all and I'm so happy that she liked it.

When we got home she even tried to do a back bend like the contortionist. She tried 3 times to bend backwards as far as she could. I just laughed at her and she would stand straight up and laugh too.

They had elephant rides and pony rides as well but they were waaaay too expensive to even think about putting her on. I don't think she would have stayed on the elephant anyways and I'm afraid of heights so it wasn't a good idea.

She tried cotton candy for the first time and didn't like it when it was all fluffy and fuzzy looking but if I balled it up she would eat it. I thought she would go crazy over it but my little girl prefers chocolate to most any other candy.

The best part about the circus was it was a real circus. It was outside under a tent and had all the circus smells. The town about 1/2 an hour from here has a circus in a gymnasium every year and it just doesn't feel like a circus that's why we don't go. This was a real circus and it was great.

I'm so happy we went and that it was so fun!!

Beach Time

We took Asha to the beach a few days ago and she finally went in the water. We had bought her a pool and been to the beach a few times before but as soon as her little butt gets wet she is screaming and wants out. Fortunately we've had some REALLY hot weather lately so the lake was more like a bath and she loves to take baths. She even went on the inner tube with daddy for a while.

That's one thing I love about having a baby/toddler in the house again is that they make you appreciate the little things. The beach just used to seem so ordinary but now through her eyes everything seems so amazing. Rocks are cool again and so are shells where before I would be annoyed at stepping on them. I love it!!!

I am also excited about Tuesday because it will be her first trip to the circus. Our little town is having it's very first circus and I can't wait for her to see the clowns and elephants. I LOVE firsts!! I think I get more excited than the kids.

The Joys of Asha

How I Became an Adoptive Mommy
I started this blog as a way for me to express the absolute joys of being a mommy to my little girl, Asha.

I am a mommy through adoption. Asha's birthmom chose us to parent her little girl in March of 2005. Asha was born a few weeks later on Easter Sunday. She was 2 weeks early and a really big suprise especially since we weren't even ready to travel yet. We ended up driving and it took us 19 hours to get from Wisconsin to Florida. We spent a week in Florida with Asha's birthmom and her other 2 children before we got clearance to leave. It was difficult to leave for us and for Asha's birthmom. We have grown to love Asha's birthmom as part of our family and it was hard leaving her.

The year went by quickly though and Asha has grown by leaps and bounds and is now 16 months old but looks like a 2 year old and some days acts like a 2 year old. Her birthmom and bio brother were just here a few weeks ago for a visit and it was great to get caught up again and to see Asha with her birthmom. Watching Asha's birthmom leave was hard again but not as emotional as the first time we had to part ways.

A favorite question everyone likes to ask us is if we got to pick Asha's name. Yes we did. The first question her birthmom asked us when we told her what we wanted to name the baby was "What does it mean?" Well we didn't know so I had to look it up and ironically it means "Life" or "Hope". Life is perfect because she was born on Easter Sunday and Hope is perfect because there's alot of hope of being a parent when going into adoption.

Here's a picture of my princess with my first attempt at braiding her hair. That's one thing that was REALLY nice about her birthmom coming to visit was she taught me a few things about Asha's hair and how to take care of it.